This Marathoner Talks About How Running Gives Them Confidence and Joy Like No Other Sport

I have always been in awe of runners for the pure mental determination of doing something that seems so physically demanding. Like many others, most of my experiences running was as punishment from coaches and trainers. But I wanted to give running a fair chance, and my goals were to have fun and stay positive.

My first run was a half mile, then a half mile of walking in cool December air. Forming the habit was the hardest part of that first month, it seemed silly to get all ready just to head out for a short duration, but I knew distance didn’t matter as much as consistency did. Those first few weeks were also about restraint. My goals were to finish a run and feel like there was gas left in the tank, and feel a sense of accomplishment so that I was looking forward to the next time I hit the pavement.

By the beginning of the year, I found myself settling into a routine, and reaping the benefits of regularly running, so I decided to carve out a challenge and goal for myself. I discovered I enjoyed distance over speed, and knew that the goal for many other runners was a marathon—a feat I had never considered for myself. However, the challenge was enticing, despite my longest run so far being five miles.

I decided to commit myself to a spring marathon—the Big Sur International Marathon in April 2024, which still felt like a lifetime away.

My miles slowly increased each week, and I leaned heavily into yoga and pilates as anchors to support some nervous feelings I had around marathon training. One of the best things I did for myself during training was let the bad days be bad. I leaned into meditation and walking at the end of a run to get time on my feet, and find mental clarity that didn’t surface during the run.

In February, though, I decided that I needed a shorter term goal before the marathon to squash any nerves that would surface on race day, so I decided to run the NYC Half Marathon in March.

My hope for the half marathon was to treat it like a dress rehearsal. I was ready for anything and everything to go wrong, but as soon as I started, my fears subsided. Running the NYC Half was the first time I felt that runner’s high. Between the cheering NYC crowds and seeing my friends on the course, my race day adrenaline was pumping and I was experiencing a type of joy I hadn’t felt since I was a child.

I could barely walk the next day, but I started to feel like I could call myself a runner with my first race under my belt. The NYC Half gave me the confidence I needed as I headed into the final segment of my marathon training.

In early April, I set out for my longest run of 18 miles in Miami, and was hit with my biggest wave of self doubt in my training. I trudged through heavy humid air, suffered from heat exhaustion, and wondered if I was hallucinating seeing a peacock on the trail, or if it was actually there.

I felt defeated on that run, until I remembered that my story was still being written with every foot I placed in front of the other. I thought back on all the previous runs that I completed despite my uncertainty. I reminded myself that showing up mattered more than pace. I kept putting one foot in front of another until my watch beeped for my 18th mile. Completing that run showed me that I was stronger than I thought, and I would cross the finish line in California.

In the beginning of my journey, I barely spoke about running to anyone, and refused to join a run club, or add people on Strava, because I didn’t feel like a real runner. However, as my mileage increased every week, so did my knowledge and confidence. I made mistakes in the beginning, such as not fueling well or devoting enough time to recovery, but they were my mistakes that I corrected and reaped the benefits of, and I felt like I was earning my stripes.

I feel lucky that my first marathon was in a place as beautiful as Big Sur. As I ran through the hills alongside the ocean, I felt at home in a sport I previously held so much fear and disdain for. I took each mile as it came, and was emotional at times for I was finally allowing myself to feel proud of my hard work.

I crossed the finish line of the marathon two minutes over my goal, but thought back to the initial intention I set for myself at the beginning of this journey—just have fun. I reminded myself that all throughout my training high points were paired with low points, but I defined what those were, and I could not deny myself of the progress I made in 20 short weeks that resulted in my running 26.2 miles.

I couldn’t possibly calculate how many hours I’ve spent in front of a mirror in my life as a dancer. The thing I love most about running is that there are no mirrors. On one particular run during a downpour, I found myself having so much fun running through empty streets and splashing in puddles. When I got home, I laughed because I looked like a cross between a bathed chihuahua and drowned rat, and remembered that there was a version of myself who would’ve tried to maintain perfection. I now walk away from intense workouts wearing my red face and dripping sweat as a badge of honor for how I test my body’s limits, and know that no one can take that away from me.

Running has allowed me to shed the preoccupation with appearance on which dance was centered. With running, I feel accomplished not by what I look like, but the burn in my legs, and most importantly, I have remembered what fun feels like. Now, I’m training for my second marathon, and enjoying a calmness, freedom, and joy in exercise that was once unknown to me.

These three tips have made my running journey a success:

1. Don’t fight your feelings

In times where I am struggling during a run or workout and find myself starting negative self-talk, I end the session and try again the next day. Accept that not every run will go as planned, or be ideal. But keep showing up, and practice being kind to yourself.

2. Forget about pace

It can be easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others, but instead measure progress against yourself. Remind yourself of the victories, whether it’s a PB or a longer distance.

3. Practice meditation and breathwork

Taking up meditation was extremely helpful to ensure I went into a run with a good mindset. It doesn’t need to be an hour of silence, even a few minutes of intention does wonders.

---

Michal’s Must-Have Gear:

→Hoka Mach 6: These are my go-to for everyday miles, and long runs. They’re supportive and comfortable, and proved to be a solid trainer during my marathon training.

→Renoj Resistance bands: Hip mobility and strength is so important and I always do a 10- to 15-minute stretch and mobility routine even for the shortest of runs.

→Megababe Thigh Rescue: This anti-chafe stick is my holy grail and has saved my thighs multiple times but it can be used anywhere on the body!

---