I spent 18 months and $34,000 traveling the world, and felt more lost than ever—4 lessons I learned about happiness

In February 2024, I returned home to Los Angeles after the adventure of a lifetime: exploring 18 countries across South America and Asia in 18 months on a trip that cost me $34,000. I had quit my dream job as a video journalist to heal my burnout and find happiness beyond traditional measures of success and prestige.

When it was over, I went from chasing waterfalls in Indonesia and whizzing through the rolling green countryside of Vietnam on a motorbike to staring at my computer screen at home, watching the job rejections roll in. 

In some ways, I felt more lost than ever.

I’d jumped back in the job market at a particularly tough moment, as thousands of journalists were getting laid off. The future of my career and income were uncertain. That’s a scary feeling at 34, when you often feel pressured to buy a house, have kids, and save up for retirement.

These circumstances would have made me unhappy and ashamed a few years ago. I no longer had the cool job or the epic, Instagrammable life around which my self-worth used to revolve. Instead, I was home and unemployed.

But my sabbatical taught me four key lessons about happiness that helped keep me positive, confident, and self-assured despite the challenges.

Then I thought going all in on travel — the thing I’m most passionate about — would fulfill me. But eventually, the novelty wore off. Exhausted from constantly being on the go, I longed for the comfort and stability of home. 

I realized that I won’t find lasting happiness unless I’m living a life balanced between adventure, rest, productivity, and learning.    

Now that I’m home, I have new career and financial goals. A few years ago, I would’ve sacrificed everything to achieve those, while applauding myself as a go-getter and a hustler.

But now I pace myself and do my best to maintain a personal life and gym and meditation routine. I’m enjoying the journey instead of racing to a finish line that probably wouldn’t be everything I imagine it is. 

While freelancing and job hunting in a very difficult market, I was tempted to slip back into feelings of inadequacy. But the perspective I gained while traveling reminded me that I already have — and am — more than enough. 

My sabbatical was partially inspired by the travel influencers I followed on Instagram. I was jealous — my life felt lame in comparison to the epic, picture-perfect lives they seemed to lead. 

But behind the scenes, globetrotting is a lot messier. You don’t see the burnout, fatigue, loneliness, and sadness many travelers experience.

After realizing firsthand that nothing is as glamorous as it seems, I stopped aspiring to be like others and began to prioritize my own needs. I decided to sleep in and relax at cafés in Cartagena, for example, instead of hustling to embark on a Caribbean island boat tour I didn’t really want to take. I don’t regret it.

Nowadays, I spend most of my time working on my computer, going to the gym, running errands, and seeing friends and loved ones in low-key places. There’s barely any fodder for Instagram posts. 

I see others leading more outwardly enviable lives, personally and professionally. I’m happy for them, but I don’t feel bad about myself. I know I’m exactly where I need to be — no matter what it looks like to anyone else.

Helen Zhao is a former video producer and writer at CNBC. Before joining CNBC as a news associate, she covered residential real estate for the LA Business Journal. She’s a California native and a proud USC Trojan and UCLA Bruin. 

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