Zendaya Says She Often Feels ‘Not Cut Out’ for Fame and Uses Fashion as ‘Armor’

She added that it’s not always her natural inclination to draw attention to herself. “I was a shy kid, always have been, and so this part isn’t natural—that is a huge reason why fashion became important to me because it became like armor to pretend to go out and do the job,” she said.

She continued, “I would like to be a person and for people to see me as that first. I don’t necessarily know if I want or can handle all [the fan attention] or want [that]—some people that’s part of it, they enjoy the power that comes from it, and I don’t know if that’s for me.”

Zendaya spoke to ELLE last summer about how she noticed her fame change drastically while filming Challengers in spring 2022. “After the last Spider-Man and the last season of Euphoria, there was a visceral change [in attention],” she said. “Before, I could get away with going places and getting in and out. But in Boston [last spring], I would end up going right back home, because it was really overstimulating. Everybody would go hang out at a bar or something, and I’d be like, ‘I’d love to, but I think I could ruin everybody’s night. Because it’s just not going to be fun once I’m there.’”

She added that she was still finding her balance between being a public and private figure: “Parts of my life, I accept, are going to be public. I can’t not be a person and live my life and love the person I love,” she said, referring to her boyfriend, Tom Holland. “But also, I do have control over what I choose to share. It’s about protecting the peace and letting things be your own but also not being afraid to exist. You can’t hide. That’s not fun, either. I am navigating it more than ever now.”

Alyssa Bailey is the senior news and strategy editor at ELLE.com, where she oversees coverage of celebrities and royals (particularly Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton). She previously held positions at InStyle and Cosmopolitan. When she’s not working, she loves running around Central Park, making people take #ootd pics of her, and exploring New York City.