Broadway star Sara Gettelfinger has opened up about how she plunged into a drug and alcohol-fueled spiral after being propelled into the spotlight – before developing a severe gambling addiction while on medication that left her unable to control her impulses.
Sara, 47, made her Broadway debut in the show Seussical in 2000, and after that, she became a massive theater star, landing a slew of roles in big plays throughout the early 2000s.
But as she rose to the top, she began partying heavily to combat her fierce insecurities.
She has now spoken out about how she lived a ‘double life,’ dazzling audiences but ‘deteriorating’ behind-the-scenes as she continuously questioned whether or not she was good enough and chased the high of being on stage even when she was off it.
Broadway star Sara Gettelfinger has opened up about how she plunged into a drug and alcohol-fueled downward spiral after being propelled into the spotlight
Sara, 47, made her Broadway debut in the show Seussical in 2000 (seen), and after that, she became a massive theater star, landing a slew of roles in big plays throughout the early 2000s
But as she rose to the top, she began partying heavily to combat her fierce insecurities. She’s seen in 2012
‘I always felt unsettled in my work, even though I was getting wonderful feedback and getting more opportunities,’ she explained to Broadway.com recently.
‘My confidence in my work always came from an outside source. You’re always rewinding the tape [after the show], like, “How was it? What did they think? What did I do? How did it go?”
‘Just that constant chasing of validation from anywhere other than your inner knowledge or strength.’
During the 2000s, Sara starred in a slew of Broadway plays include Anything Goes, The Boys from Syracuse, Nine, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and 101 Dalmatians Musical.
But all the while, she began ‘partying’ excessively, which she explained was a big part of the ‘lifestyle of being a performer.’
‘You finish the show and then you go out,’ she explained. ‘You have all this energy and we usually went to a restaurant or a bar first, and then you went to the after party, and then the after-after party.
‘We had plenty of time to sleep until four o’clock the next day and have a bagel and some orange Gatorade and rinse and repeat. And that worked for a very long time.’
But things came to a head when she went on the Broadway National Tour for The Addams Family in 2011, during which she played Morticia Addams.
She has now spoken out about how she lived a ‘double life,’ dazzling audiences but ‘deteriorating’ behind-the-scenes as she questioned whether or not she was good enough
‘I always felt unsettled in my work, even though I was getting wonderful feedback,’ she explained to Broadway.com. ‘It was that constant chasing of validation’
Sara joined Broadway National Tour for The Addams Family in 2011, during which she played Morticia Addams (seen), but she said she was ‘regularly using drugs and alcohol’
She explained that she was ‘regularly using drugs and alcohol’ by that time, and that her ‘major demon was cocaine.’
She said she felt like the drug was giving her ‘superpowers’ and like she ‘could do anything,’ but in reality she was ‘crashing and burning big time.’
After it came to an end in 2012, she said she was ‘in the worst physical and mental shape’ that she had ‘ever been in’ and had so much ‘paranoia’ that she sometimes ‘wasn’t able to leave her house’ or ‘take care of basic things.’ She’s seen in 2013
‘I was not in a good place when I booked that show,’ she shared. ‘It was the end the road. When I say I crawled over the finish line of that tour, I am not exaggerating.’
After it came to an end in 2012, she said she was ‘in the worst physical and mental shape’ that she had ‘ever been in.’
She recalled suffering from ‘panic attacks’ and having so much ‘paranoia’ that she sometimes ‘wasn’t able to leave her house’ or ‘take care of basic things.’
In 2013, she said she ‘waved the white flag’ and headed home to where she grew up in Louisiana, Kentucky, so she could go to rehab.
But after getting clean, Sara said she soon developed a fierce gambling addiction that only made things worse.
She even got arrested for theft in 2015, and was given three years probation, after which she moved into a sober living home.
But she recalled feeling lost because she was ‘estranged from her family’ and ‘couldn’t trust herself’ – and she ultimately attempted to end her life.
‘I could not fathom how, at two years clean, I had somehow sought this new activity out. I [felt like] I was hell bent on destruction and anyone who came near me was at risk,’ she continued.
In 2013, she said she ‘waved the white flag’ and headed home to where she grew up in Louisiana, Kentucky, so she could go to rehab. She’s seen in 2013
After getting clean, Sara said she developed a fierce gambling addiction that only made things worse – but she later learned a drug she was taking had impacted her ‘impulse control’
‘I thought, “I’m just a monster, it doesn’t matter what I give up, I’m gonna find something else to be addicted to.”
‘I reached the point of, “You know what? If this is all that’s left for me, I don’t even wanna be here.”‘
But everything changed for Sara when she discovered an ad on TV from a law firm asking people who were on a certain medication and struggling with gambling addiction to give them a call.
She was prescribed the drug as part of her recovery, and soon started researching it – and discovered that it was linked to problems with ‘impulse control.’
‘This particular drug I was put on had numerous studies cases all over the world that were causing this same type of compulsion in people,’ she explained.
‘Finding out that there was a reason for it doesn’t excuse it, but it at least gave me a why.’
She got off the drug and within three weeks, she said it was ‘like a spell was broken.’
She said that she could ‘enjoy the benefits of sobriety’ for the first time, and that it was like a ‘new lease on life.’
‘Now came the task of rebuilding. But the first step was just realizing very simply, “I’m not a monster. I am an addict, and I have done terrible, hurtful things, but I am not sentenced to this affliction for the rest of my life,” added the actress.
In 2017, she started dating her former childhood classmate Eric Pop, and they married in 2020; she is now the step-mother to his two kids.
In 2017, she started dating her former childhood classmate Eric Pop, and they married in 2020; she is now the step-mother to his two kids
She landed a job teaching music to preschoolers, but when she was asked to participate in a Zoom reunion with the Seussical cast in 2020, it made her miss her old life in the spotlight
Earlier this year, Sara, now 11 years sober, officially returned to the Broadway stage for the first time in over a decade when she joined the cast of the new musical Water for Elephants
She then landed a job teaching music to preschoolers, but when she was asked to participate in a Zoom reunion with the Seussical cast in 2020, it made her miss her old life in the spotlight.
In 2021, the stars teamed up for a special performance at 54 Below in New York City, and being on stage again was indescribable.
‘The response was overwhelming,’ she recalled. ‘And after that, we were walking back to the hotel and my husband said, “I don’t care what we have to do, I don’t care what it takes, but you are not done.”
‘He made me promise that I would reach out to my [past] agent who I hadn’t spoken to in 10 years.’
Earlier this year, Sara officially returned to the Broadway stage for the first time in over a decade when she joined the cast of the new musical Water for Elephants.
While chatting with Broadway.com, she described coming back as ‘an incredible start to a second chapter’ of her life.
‘It is unbelievable, it’s surreal,’ she gushed. ‘I am back where I feel at home and where I belong.’
Now 11 years sober, she hopes that sharing her journey will help others who may be struggling.
‘The number one thing that I want people to take from my story is, especially at a time when so many people have so many struggles, there is always hope,’ she concluded.
‘A rebuilding begins in being brave enough to be honest, being brave enough to admit what I am doing is not serving me, what I am doing is hurting others.
‘I know it sounds overdramatic but as long as you are breathing, there is a way to do something different and better.’
