Netflixable? Laura and Liam visit Travel Guide Morocco — “Lonely Planet”

With Diane and Bruce as my witnesses, I swear I never thought I’d see Oscar winner Laura Dern in a movie as empty and pointless as “Lonely Planet.”

But Susannah Grant, the screenwriter of “Erin Brockovich” and “The Soloist,” took her title from the long-published travel guidebooks, which should have been a clue. And the dreadful “Catch and Release” was an earlier directing credit.

It’s a writer’s retreat romance about a “blocked” and newly-dumped novelist who falls for a younger man (Liam Hemsworth) who might be mid-breakup with his younger writer-lover (Diana Silvers) in scenic Marrakesh, Morocco.

So it’s “How Katherine Got her Writer’s Groove Back.” It’s even shallower than that, and for much of its running time, it can’t do anything more than show us the sights as it teases out the drably inevitable.

Dern, who won her Oscar for “Marriage Story,” has mostly bounced from winner to winner — TV’s “Big Little Lies,” with Oscar winners Reese and Nicole, a pretty good remake of “Little Women,” “The White Lotus” and a big payday from yet another “Jurassic World” outing.

But a paid vacation is the only real justification for “Lonely Planet,” as that’s all this is.

Katherine shows up, a blocked writer with a deadline. Younger real estate investment advisor Owen follows first-book bestseller Lily to this rich woman’s arranged retreat in a striking setting on the edge of the Sahara.

The promise of “colorful characters” among the writers is rather dashed because Grant is more interested in “local color” — the casbah, the bazaar.

Writing’s dirty little secret, a world of writer’s conferences, retreats and “residencies,” is laid bare.

“You kind of don’t need to write,” Katherine admits, as she and Owen stumble into each other, avoiding the crowd that includes “a Nobel winner,” a lush, etc. “You just travel and go to the confernces and hang out with people who get way too drunk and only talk about themselves.”

Yeah, I’ve covered a few conferences, residencies and workshops. I’ve interviewed a few Katherines and at least one vapid Lily (she was appointed to cut-and-paste “Divergent” into publication). At least this much of the movie is on the nose.

Owen feigns gallantry.

“He looked wasted and I wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“Am I,” she flirts?

That’s as engaged as our lead actors get. And that’s the movie.

It’s like watching a sirocco blow across the Sahara. “Lonely Planet” holds like ten minutes of your interest, and then you’re ready to get back on the bus and head to Tangier.

Rating: R, nudity, sex, profanity

Cast: Laura Dern, Liam Hemsorth and Diana Silvers

Credits: Scripted and directed by Susannah Grant. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:34