‘I’m A Fashion Editor And This Is How To Find Your Own Personal Style’

Yet, TikTok’s advice often feels hypocritical. The same creators preaching individuality are commodifying it—reducing ‘personal style’ into just another formula that’s easily consumable and marketable. Worse, there’s an insidious undercurrent suggesting that having a personal style equates to being a fully formed person, when really it’s the opposite. You don’t find yourself by curating a wardrobe; rather, the person you become shapes how you dress.

Ultimately, I’m skeptical of the notion that you can ‘find’ your personal style. It’s not a missing sock or that lip gloss you swore was in your bag but actually rolled under the car seat. Nor is it a fixed destination you can arrive at. It’s something you grow into over time – a slow accumulation of artefacts representing your evolving beliefs, experiences and emotions.

And that’s where many of us are getting it wrong. Most of the time, your outfit is just broadcasting what side of the ‘For You’ page you’re on. Sometimes, it reveals the movies you’ve watched, the figures you admired as a teen, or how much money you want people to think you have. Rarely does it actually say anything meaningful about who you are as a person. French fashion designer Michelle Lamy said it best: ‘Personal style isn’t an expression of wealth or taste, but a manifestation of soul.’ Don’t let yours rot by obsessing over how to package it for an OOTD pic.

Discovery is a muscle you can train

AI-generated recommendations will be the death of all that is interesting and cool. In the past, you didn’t just sit back and have content served to you; you had to actively engage your interests. When something piqued your attention, you explored the footnotes and delved deeper, sparking a genuine train of curiosity rather than mindlessly scrolling through a flood of generic, baseless content.

Instead of passively scrolling through whatever content the algorithm feeds you (and millions more at the exact same time), learn to follow your own threads of interest. Look beyond the obvious. True style often comes from unlikely sources. For example, everyone loves Gabbriette’s style, right? Instead of over-plucking your eyebrows and calling it a day, read her interviews and see what inspires her.

Discover the films that shaped her worldview and actually watch them — not just TikTok compilations or while being on your phone. Dive deeper into the subcultures surrounding those films; perhaps buy a coffee table book on Italian cinema or the fashion movements of the 1990s. Better yet visit galleries that feature artists from the era or genre. Attend local film screenings to discuss them with others who share your passion. This kind of immersive exploration allows you to build a richer understanding of your influences and take more-informed style cues. After all, the most important thing with personal style is to be able to explain why you actually like something. Which leads me onto…

Do you like it, or do you just like the way it was marketed to you?

It’s very rare these days to want to wear something purely because ‘you thought it looked nice’. Countless dollars are spent on aligning products with gorgeous happy faces in glamorous worlds that convince you, the consumer, can be part of too — if only you buy something. Unbeknownst to you, there is a lot of desire-generating lore built into brands that you are subconsciously being manipulated into believing. Really, there is no logical explanation for that many people wanting Wales Bonner Sambas. Or for the sheer volume of £2,000+ It-bags being sold. It’s a type of marketing magic. But you know what magic really is? Deception. Don’t be so easily deceived — the step above will help you with that.

Fashion as a form of communication

By the same metric, you can tell the world a lot about yourself through careful clothing curation. Fashion at its best is a shared language. Do you only wear second-hand, thrifted clothing because of your environmental beliefs? Collect Margiela because you resonate with Martin Margiela’s nonconformist design philosophy? Are you signalling to the world that you spent a lot of money on something via a logo? Or do you only want to signal your wealth to those in the know via a discerning unbranded silhouette?

Restraint and repeat

The true test of personal style is this: Could someone dress up as you for Halloween? Who is Pulp Fiction’s Mia Wallace without a bob and a (blood-stained) white shirt. Amy Winehouse without a beehive and ballet flats. Lisa Simpson without a pearl necklace and an orange mini dress. Notice how they all pretty much exclusively wear those pieces? If you’re serious about having a recognised personal style — whether for financial, branding or existential reasons — embrace restraint. Then repeat. There’s a reason it’s the number one rule across all forms of branding.

That’s not to say you have to wear the exact same piece. Morticia Addams wore 23 different dresses in the first Addams Family film, but you immediately know a Tish look when you see it. Identify the signature elements that resonate with you – colours, patterns, textures, and silhouettes – and incorporate them into your outfit every time. When you create a visual language that is distinctly yours, it becomes easier for others to recognise and remember you.

Know references that work for you

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen have the best style, but I will never be a skinny, blonde white girl. Floaty dresses don’t work with big boobs, so no matter how good it looks on them, it just won’t work on me. It’s something I’ve come to accept after countless near-break-downs after the image in my head doesn’t match the image in the mirror. Instead find people to follow with similar body types to you and don’t torture yourself with the wrong style references.

Don’t

Don’t try to find it. Not on Pinterest. Not on TikTok. Not even from your favourite influencer. If you try too hard your cortisol levels will spike and you might even give yourself a mini existential crisis. Prioritise micro moments of joy. Be attuned to your surroundings. Notice when wearing something truly makes you feel something good. Remember that above all true style is reflected in how you treat yourself, people and the world around you. And ultimately happens when you’re not over-thinking but living presently.

ELLE Collective is a new community of fashion, beauty and culture lovers. For access to exclusive content, events, inspiring advice from our Editors and industry experts, as well the opportunity to meet designers, thought-leaders and stylists, become a member today HERE.