Why I ditched fashion for sensible shoes

I’ll open this column with a riddle for you. Question: How can you tell you’re at a bleeding disorders conference? Answer: Beautiful business casual clothing and sensible shoes!

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with shoes over my lifetime. From a very early age, my parents and pediatrician noticed my ankles were overpronated (rolled inward, creating collapsed arches and flat feet). During childhood, I had to wear lace-up black-and-white saddle shoes from Stride Rite. Many of the other girls had cute patent leather buckled shoes. I wanted to wear cute shoes, too!

But as a young child, I didn’t understand that the cute shoes wouldn’t be good for my ankles. My parents didn’t know at the time that wearing certain shoes caused me ankle bleeds, yet they noticed I would limp more and complain of pain. Therefore, when other children picked out a different pair of shoes each September, I got a new pair of saddle shoes, identical to the prior year.

As I grew older, the physical education (PE) requirement in school haunted me. I couldn’t run long distances, as my ankles constantly hurt. That also meant I was horrible at team sports, most of which involved running or jumping, which exacerbated my ankle pain and swelling. Team competitions meant I was chosen last.

I was called “lazy” and told the pain I was feeling wasn’t real, that I was making it up to get out of PE. This couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was so jealous of the kids who could run and play. I wanted to be one of the athletes!

Middle school challenges

After a year of constant pain in middle school, I was taken to an orthopedic doctor. They didn’t do imaging, but diagnosed my overpronating ankles and recommended custom orthotics worn only with high-top sneakers. The custom orthotics were a game changer and helped quite a bit with my ankle pain. Thank heavens it was the 1980s and double-tongue Reeboks, Converse, and other high-tops were all the rage. It was wonderful to have a recommendation align with current fashion trends!

For middle school graduation I wanted to wear high heels like so many of the “mature” girls, but alas, I could not. I wobbled like mad in heels and would risk falling as I navigated stairs for the ceremony. My mom bought me a pair of flats, which I wore proudly, so thankful they weren’t high-tops. Unfortunately, my ankles collapsed and rotated inward with each step. I realized that, as cute as the shoes were, I did not look cute walking in them on graduation day.

Over the years, I would purchase flats or low heels to wear on special occasions. This often meant being terribly uncomfortable for the sake of fashion. It also meant experiencing pain for days after each event.

Sensible shoes are a necessity in life with a bleeding disorder. (Courtesy of G Shellye Horowitz)

Goodbye, nonsensible shoes!

At age 28, I moved overseas. When I made that move I ditched every pair of fancy flats and high heels I owned. It was incredibly liberating.

I started to search for and collect shoes I could slip orthotics into that maintained stronger ankle support. My collection of Dr. Martens, Converse, and other shoes grew, and I even attended fancy events in these shoes!

I was head of school at an international school abroad, and we held graduation ceremonies in the courtyard of the U.S. Consulate. I showed up in a gorgeous black dress and black Dr. Martens boots. Important events, weddings, job interviews all included appropriate attire and matching boots. Most people assumed I had my own unique and cool style, having no clue it was out of necessity.

Recently, I’ve looked into upgrading my tap shoes, as my current pair doesn’t offer as much arch support as I’d like. I can mostly hold my own at the moment with my orthotics, but when we move on to fancier steps that will involve challenges, such as dancing on my toes, I’ll need a shoe with a bit more structural integrity, even with the orthotics!

Today, I still show up to conferences, work events, and special occasions in sensible shoes — often a pair of sneakers or boots, always with orthotics in them. I base my decision on the amount of walking required. When my ankles act up, I wrap them in a brace as well. I no longer care what people think or if my shoes clash with my fancier attire. Protecting my ankles from unnecessary stress and trauma is far more important than fashion.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.