Voboril: Fashion and passion

It is impossible to transmit, in words or any other medium, that which is at the central core of one’s being. In seeking to understand the humans with which we share a planet, town, bed, we attempt to feel their desires, their rhythms, their essences, but this exercise can only go so far because we cannot truly inhabit that person. 

Shared experiences bring us closer, unite us in similar ecstasies — to share a powder day with someone is to peek into their soul — but there remains a lack of perfect empathy. Art, visual or written, can provide clarity, music broadcasts certain truths, impressions are given, yet a gap remains. 

Between members of two groups that are geographically adjacent, but ideologically distant, this chasm of understanding is magnified — it’s hard to even comprehend the motivations and morals of the other tribe. I am certain that the look of bewilderment that befalls me when I see people in furs vamping for Instagram is mirrored in their view of those dirtbags walking in worn technical gear or the old-timers rocking jeans and Western wear. 

Bemusement and disdain can often follow bewilderment, driven by the predisposition to dislike that which we do not know. Thereafter, the seeds of separation and discord can grow unabated, creating “others” when there is no such thing, except that everyone is another. 

I may not get what drives someone to wear a crystal-plated helmet skiing on Little Eagle, but that would not excuse my derision of the same person — they are being themselves and that is good enough for me. I wouldn’t like it if they judged me for wearing my Nor-dork gear to a fancy dinner, which is certainly something that has never happened when I was definitely not late for said dinner.

There is a temptation to reduce differences into pejorative and false dichotomies — that the skiers are in it for the passion and the glamour set are in it for the fashion.  First — some rippers care more about their kit than their turns, not that there is anything wrong with that.  Second — there are dilettantes on both sides of the “passion” and “fashion” divide, just as there are experts.

Generalities have no bearing on the specifics of a person — to discover those, one has to break through the prejudgment over appearance and have an actual conversation, a real interaction. Perhaps your first instinct was right, that you have nothing in common, champion vastly different values, are perhaps even antagonistic.

Isolated from each other by our prejudices, we may not have the chance to divine that our initial impressions were plain wrong, that there is more of a bond than just shared humanity. It’s easy to stay ensconced in one’s sub-subculture, pretending to be cooler than thou, vibing on visitors.

It’s a bad look, embarrassing even, to make someone feel unwelcome in your town, not least of all when that community was built specifically around the idea of gathering people from all over the world to commune in the mountains and, occasionally, ski. 

As you next walk to the hill or to the shops or to the spa, whatever brings or keeps you here, be drawn to someone that is geared up completely different than you, keep your eye on them for a non-creepy length of time, and practice what you might say if you were sidled up next to them at the bar or in the hot tub.  The attempt to create a connection when those interpersonal links are fast disappearing will be a boon to you, them, and us all. 

T.J. Voboril is a founding partner at Alpenglow Law, LLC, a local law firm, and the Owner/Mediator at Voice Of Reason Dispute Resolution.  For more information, please contact him at (970) 306-6456, tj@alpenglowlaw.com, or visit AlpenglowLaw.com.