I love my kids, but all I really want for Mother’s Day is to be alone

I want a whole day where no one is climbing all over me, or whining for more water, or asking me to break up a squabble. A day where I don’t have to tend to a single bathroom request, make any meals, fold any laundry, or clean up any toys.

If I’m being really honest, I want a full night’s sleep where I’m not woken up multiple times and a morning where I can sleep past 6:30 a.m. I want to drink a cup of coffee without having to reheat it while I watch the “Today” show or read a book. I want to shower and get ready without having a little visitor and complete a full sentence without being interrupted if I’m catching up with a friend.

I want to step away from the grind and reflect on motherhood

Don’t get me wrong. I still want the adorably awful craft that will come home from day care. I would happily accept a gift if my kids and husband wanted to give me one. I’ll take all the thanks and recognition I can get, but what I really want is time by myself to step back from the everyday grind and remind myself how much I love being a mom.

Mother’s Day is about showing appreciation for everything moms do, but it’s also a day meant for reflecting on motherhood. I wouldn’t be a mom without my two little girls, but it can be hard to reflect on my motherhood journey and experience gratitude for how lucky I am to be their mom in the midst of the everyday chaos. Having time alone is a gift that gives me that time to reflect on all that I have and a much-needed break from the madness of motherhood.

If I could be with my family on Mother’s Day without having any of my normal mom duties, that would be ideal. That would still give me the break I need, but it’s not something my girls would understand.

I’m the default parent, so it’s hard to get a break when I’m near my kids

Like a lot of other moms, I’m the default parent. I am so inexplicably wound into every aspect of my daughters’ lives that not doing things around the house or helping them would cause tears and confusion. They can’t grasp the concept that mom can be around but be off duty so the only way I’ll get the reset and recharge that I need to continue being a great mom to them is to get some time alone.

I’d be happy with my husband getting the kids out of the house for a few hours for me to enjoy some peace and quiet, though a night away at a hotel would be the ideal gift.

I’ll probably spend most of the time looking at pictures of my girls on my phone and missing them instead of doing something for myself, but that’s just part of the condition of motherhood.

Having time away for Mother’s Day would remind me that despite the endless chores and messes and tears, being a mom really is the best. After a bit of time by myself, I’d be ready to come back, scoop my girls into a big hug, and jump into the craziness again, prepared to tackle the next 364 days in full-on mom mode.