A bimbo’s guide to getting through Fashion Week

One down four to go: the first day of London Fashion Week is upon us, as Milan and Paris stretch out into the distance. It’s a chaotic month of glam and not-so glam catwalk shows, glitzy and not-so-glitzy parties, gallons of champs and sponsored Diet Cokes, and near-constant, soul-crushing chit-chat whether you’re front row or fourth (“You going to a lot today, yeah?”)

There’s also an endless gauntlet to run: from dashing across the road into oncoming traffic because you’re late for a show, to dodging the dance between the street style photographers and their preening influencer subjects outside the venues, to ducking and diving out of the eye line of someone you haven’t emailed back, neglected to file copy on time for, or your latest failed situationship. The struggle truly never ends. 

Two people who know exactly what they’re doing, though, are East London’s rising it-girlies, Opia. Despite their self-described bimbo tendencies, these two have fashion week down – so for the more green attendees out there perhaps embarking on their first edition this season, they’ve put together a handy survival guide to see you through.

“Have an exit strategy. Always prepare a dramatic exit line, something to be remembered by: ‘I’m off to a fitting’ or ‘Got to run! Meeting Naomi’ or ‘I’ve just shat myself’” –Opia