A couple who achieved financial independence and retired in their 30s shares their $280,000 a year budget raising 2 kids in San Francisco

Dogen shared his budget with Business Insider, which, for his family of four, he expects will be about $280,000 over the next year or so. He said his budget is high because he wanted to provide the best life he could for his kids before they go off to college.

“FIRE-ing with kids is like a superpower, a secret weapon,” Dogen said. “FIRE-ing with kids, especially if you really love your kids, you like to spend everything on them, and then doing that in an expensive city is really, really hard.”

How a FIRE family budgets

In 2012, Dogen reached financial independence after 13 years in banking, predominantly in San Francisco. By the time he retired, his net worth was over $3 million, which he achieved by “living like a college student” for a few years and saving most of his money. His wife retired in 2015 at 35 and worked part-time until they had their first kid.

Dogen said it took years of planning to figure out how to maintain financial independence with two kids in an expensive city.

He was stressed about buying a larger home in San Francisco last year, selling off some of his investments and going back to part-time work. He said about 70% of his reasons for purchasing the home was to be a loving father so his kids could live comfortably before going to college.

Similar to how he felt after leaving his $250,000-a-year job, he spent a few months feeling buyer’s remorse over the home purchase. He contemplated whether he should’ve continued living frugally after doing so for two decades, though he eventually came to terms with the fact that he made the right decision.

Still, this meant finding other places to cut back on spending. Using last year’s budget, his family of four lives off $350,000 in San Francisco, and their net income is $223,840 after a 401(k) contribution, standard deduction, and tax bill. Meanwhile, their total expenses are practically equivalent to their net income.

Their mortgage has the highest annual cost at $46,800, and their property tax is $22,320. Utilities, property maintenance, and property insurance add another $10,260.

Childcare and occasional babysitting for his younger kid cost $29,400, while preschool for his older kid costs $24,000 yearly. The family’s food costs $25,548, and they contribute $12,000 to their kids’ 529 college saving plans.

Their healthcare costs are $10,200, while life insurance runs them another $2,040. Other family expenses include $7,800 for three family vacations, $6,000 for entertainment, including sporting events and social functions, and $4,200 for baby items.

Their car payment, insurance, maintenance, and gas cost $9,360 combined. They also spend $4,800 yearly on clothing, $3,600 for charity, and $1,800 for a family phone plan.

They anticipate their anticipated expenses starting in September 2024 to be about $280,000, while their pre-tax passive income will be about $275,000, as they sold a lot of stocks and bonds last year to buy a new home. Their unsubsidized healthcare insurance will jump to $2,500 a month, and they’re adding $7,600 a month for both of their kids to attend Mandarin immersion school.

Dogen noted they’re not technically financially independent anymore, as he estimates there will be a $60,000 gap. He’s hoping to accumulate enough capital again in the next few years so there’s no passive income deficit.

“I wanted to own the nicest home I could afford while my kids were still at home,” Dogen said. “It’s not like I’m going to buy a nicer home once they leave college since I’m probably going to downsize. I made a conscious choice to blow up my passive income by like $110,000 to buy a nicer home to provide for my family.”

While he’s considered moving to a less expensive part of the country, he said he values his strong network of friends and acquaintances, the city’s cultural diversity, and the tech scene. He also said he feels safer as an Asian American in San Francisco than in many other parts of the country.

“A lot of people say, well, you can move to the Midwest and cut housing costs by 80%, but as an Asian American, it’s not that simple to just go pick up and move to Memphis or Houston; it’s diverse, but it’s different,” Dogen said. “There’s this big blind spot for white people who are pursuing FIRE to just say, you can go live anywhere in the country that’s lower-cost. I just don’t think it’s that easy for minorities to do that.”

Continuing to work

In the years since retirement, he and his wife wanted to continue being frugal, living minimalist lifestyles. However, they both felt they could afford to invest in life experiences and a quality home. Though Dogen didn’t want to return to an office, he felt unfulfilled without working.

Though he retired at 35, he didn’t fully leave the workforce. He maintained his blog, which brought in over $1,000 in supplemental income. Between 2013 and 2015, he did part-time consulting, assisting startups in the Bay Area for 15 to 20 hours a week.

He wrote a book, “How to Engineer Your Layoff,” which generates about $30,000 annually. He and his wife also slashed their expenses by at least 40% by renting out their home and buying a fixer-upper on the west side of San Francisco.

He also tried lower-income side gigs to follow his desires and continue building toward his actual retirement. He drove over 500 rides for Uber, estimating he made about $30 an hour.

He also worked as a high school tennis coach, making $1,100 a month, which, he said, allowed him to learn how to deal with high school boys years before his son reached that age.

His wife taught piano lessons in her spare time, in addition to helping him edit his book and blog articles.

Still, most of his time has been spent being a stay-at-home dad. Once his younger kid attends school, he’s looking for the next challenge.

He’s itching to “fill that void” with part-time consulting work in the tech or startup industry, hoping to get more involved with AI companies in San Francisco. He did fintech consulting from November 2023 to April 2024 but stepped away after it became too much work.

“Both kids will go to school full-time, leaving us with 40 hours a week to twiddle our thumbs,” Dogen said. “After you’ve been doing something for a long time and put in so much effort, you’re going to feel this trough of sorrow that I’ve experienced before.”

Are you part of the FIRE movement or living by some of its principles? Reach out to this reporter at nsheidlower@businessinsider.com.