Ellen DeGeneres admits she was an ‘immature boss’ after talk-show controversy led to her fall from grace

“For Your Approval” begins with DeGeneres walking through an edited sequence running through the greatest hits and controverseies of her career, ranging from her network television debut, to the blacklisting she faced after coming out, to her stint as Dory in “Finding Nemo” and ultimately, to the end of her talk show.

DeGeneres unpacks it in the special — here’s what she says.

DeGeneres explains her reactions to claims that she’s ‘mean’

After spending the early minutes of the special making lumbar jokes and catching the audience up on her chickens, DeGeneres cuts to the chase.

“Oh yeah, I got kicked out of show business,” she says to raucous laughter and applause. “Yeah, ’cause I’m mean. Yeah. You can’t be mean and be in show business. No, they’ll kick you out. No mean people in show business. I’m out.”

DeGeneres joked that she first heard about the controversy when she saw a headline declaring her “the most hated person in America.” It was a contrast, she said, to previous polls that indicated she was “one of the most trusted people in the country,” such as one where people voted her the celebrity they’d most like to babysit their child.

DeGeneres reflected on the media fervor around her controversy, saying that she had to explain to her therapist that she thought “everyone hates” her because mainstream media publications were reporting on it. And while she attempted to avoid media, she said that she’d learn something had happened when her friends would send her supportive texts.

Ultimately, DeGeneres said, her “be kind” mantra on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” put her in a box.

“It seemed like a good idea,” she said. “But I became a brand, a one-dimensional character who gave stuff away and danced every day up steps. Do you know how hard it was to dance up steps? Would a mean person dance up steps? I don’t think so.”

DeGeneres said that her show was like a ‘family’ – but she was an ‘immature boss’

During the special, DeGeneres said that she loved working on her show and that it felt like a “family” to her. She then launched into a bit where she reflected on fun behaviors, like a years-long office game of tag or other pranks, before realizing that she may have been menacing her staff.

“We played tag, and I would chase people down the hallways, I would chase them all around the studio and I would scare them all the time. I would jump out, scare people ’cause I would love to do that,” she said. “You know, hearing myself say this out loud, I… realize I was chasing my employees and terrorizing them. I can see where that would be misinterpreted.”

DeGeneres owned up to being an “immature boss,” primarily because she never wanted to be one despite the show bearing her name.

“I didn’t go to business school, I went to Charlie’s Chuckle Hut,” she joked.

DeGeneres said that she had a gendered view of what it meant to be a boss due to representations of male bosses on television shows who would bark at employees to come into their office. Women, she said, would have to adopt a more polite and less direct tone.

DeGeneres reflected on her coming out, and how she now weighs public opinion

DeGeneres came out as gay in a 1997 episode of her sitcom, “Ellen.” At the time, it was groundbreaking — and detrimental to her career. She previously said on her talk show in 2022 that it resulted in her losing work for three years.

“For those of you keeping score, this is the second time I’ve been kicked out of show business,” she said. “Kicked me out before ’cause I told them I was gay. No gay people in show business.”

Near the end of the special, DeGeneres said that her show was her life — and while she was working in entertainment, she was forced to care about what people think. That meant that people thinking she was “mean” was a “devastating” revelation. As she aged, she said, she realized that she couldn’t allow outside opinions to shape her mental health.

DeGeneres said that after her show ended, she didn’t think she would be able to find the humor in her situation, and didn’t have intentions of doing a stand-up special. But doing so, she said, was “healing.”

Ultimately, in the aftermath of her controversy, DeGeneres said she was happy to shed the responsibilities of management and her own personal brand.

“If I’m being honest, and I have a choice of people remembering me as someone who is mean, or someone who is beloved,” she said. “I choose that.”

“Ellen DeGeneres: For Your Approval” is now streaming on Netflix.