‘I couldn’t bear him pulling in it’: writers on the clothes they pinched from their exes

“It’s such a cheeky T-shirt,” the actor Josh O’Connor recently told Rolling Stone. “Just so cheeky, and I really liked wearing it because it was just a bit like [raises shoulders and winks], ‘Told ya.’”

He was talking, of course, about the T-shirt emblazoned with the phrase “I Told Ya” that has become the most-talked-about garment from Luca Guadagnino’s new tennis film about love, lust and (torn) ligaments, Challengers.

The T-shirt is the work of the film’s costume designer and Loewe creative director Jonathan Anderson, and what is particularly cheeky about the T-shirt is that it is not O’Connor’s. It is first worn in the film by his character Patrick’s then-girlfriend, Tashi (Zendaya). After a half-clad fight, he slips it on. An acrimonious breakup later and Patrick clearly never gave it back. He wears it again, some time later, on a day he knows he will bump into his ex. Their relationship might have ended, but turning up in her T-shirt is a reminder that they were once on intimate terms.

But not all clothes from former lovers are so full of frisson or meaning. Some are items that felt too comfortable to get rid of.

Take my Kid Rock T-shirt, the relic of a messy teenage relationship that quickly soured. It first slipped into my ownership circa 2003, in the heady summer after A-levels. I would borrow it to wear after a night out, high on strawberry daiquiris and the knowledge that I would never again be questioned on 19th-century history.

I have never knowingly listened to a Kid Rock song. And, until today, had no idea about his politics, which seem to veer to the right of Donald Trump’s. Although now that I do (the absolute horror!) I don’t think I will ever be able to wear said T-shirt again.

For this week’s newsletter, we asked Guardian writers to give us a sniff of the clothes they kept from an ex. Unsurprisingly, most are off the record …

“I wanted a reminder – and I was bitter”

I was young and immature and his clothes were a constant point of contention between us. He left his Champion jumper, the only nice item of clothing he really wore, at my house, and I deliberately never gave it back because I wanted a reminder of him. But also because I was bitter and I wanted to deprive him of his one cool look. And I couldn’t bear the idea of him pulling in it. – Anonymous

“Did someone else steal my stolen jumper from me?”

At uni, she stole my heart; at the end of uni, I stole her jumper. It was worn-through at the elbows and frayed at the cuffs, but I loved its raggediness. Mostly I loved that it was something of her to hang on to and wrap up in after we had unravelled. I wore it for years, but I can’t find it now. Did it finally disintegrate? Devoured by moths perhaps? Or, better, did someone else steal it from me? – Sam Wollaston

“Her yoga pants are now my long johns”

Sometimes a piece of clothing belonging to an ex-lover is too painful to throw away. That is not the reason why my ex-girlfriend’s yoga trousers retain prized position in my bottom drawer. Mistakenly overlooked in the post-relationship belongings transfer, they have been repurposed into a workhorse pair of long johns – now they’re a toasty treat in bed on colder winter nights. Any association with my ex has long since perished … much like the gusset stitching. – Anonymous

“It never occurred to me to give his jacket back”

Finding a decent denim jacket is close to impossible, and this one is the platonic ideal – a great fit, fantastic fades and rips that have occurred naturally. My ex and I split up 11 years ago, and it simply never occurred to me to give it back. – Anonymous

“I don’t wear the cap – but I haven’t thrown it out”

I still have a Yankees cap that belongs to a man I briefly dated a few years ago. I can’t even remember why I took it in the first place – perhaps a hangover, sans sunglasses? I don’t wear it out now – doesn’t suit my skull shape, somehow – but I haven’t thrown it out, either. – Elle Hunt

“It’s a souvenir of our years together”

Friendship breakups can leave a wound more sore than the end of a romance. For me, keeping my best friend’s jumper from primary school (we swapped on the final day of year 6) helped heal those wounds after the eventual breakdown of our friendship. It’s a souvenir of our younger years together. – Nyima Jobe

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