I moved to Alaska after college for a job. I lost all my friends because I put my career first.

• I was so nervous about job stability and unemployment when I graduated from college.
• I decided to take a job across the country in Alaska because I thought it would help my career.
• It was a huge mistake, and I lost most of my friends, but I learned not to put my career first.

As a liberal arts student during the pandemic, I was concerned about my job prospects after graduation. Much of my time in college was spent in my bedroom, as I poured myself into work and virtual school until I found a steady group of friends.

My friends helped ease the fear of unemployment after graduation, but they couldn’t stem it completely; I chose to work multiple jobs simultaneously while being a full-time student. I even graduated a year early so I could, ideally, jump into the workforce and avoid the scary fate of unemployment.

Near graduation, an exciting opportunity arose to pursue an internship in my dream field halfway across the country in Alaska. My friends said I shouldn’t take it because they knew I would accept it for the wrong reasons — mostly out of fear.

But I didn’t listen. I said yes, moved to Alaska, and lost many of my friends in the process.

I became obsessed with finding a ‘good’ job

I couldn’t get over the job market’s volatility. It seemed like employment instability would be the new norm for my generation.

I wanted to stop that from happening to me as best as possible. I became obsessed with gaining job experience in my field and worked as many internships and jobs as possible while still a full-time student.

My strong and supportive friend group thought I was crazy for working many jobs and planning to graduate early. They encouraged me to enjoy the present and not worry much about the future. But I was so fearful about life after college that I couldn’t listen to them and have fun while I was there.

In the last semester of school, I got an opportunity to do an internship in my dream field. The job itself and being away from everyone I knew and loved seemed like real challenges, but I felt compelled to take the offer in Alaska, which I thought would promise future job security.

My friends knew I was rushing into things, but I didn’t listen to their protests. They brainstormed other solutions and tried to do what they could to make me stay with them and take a breather before jumping into adult life. Yet when I got my diploma, I packed up my life without a second glance.

I realized I had made a huge mistake

The first few days of living in Alaska were exciting and fun. I felt proud of myself for taking such a big chance and was interested in learning about my field.

But it quickly soured as the long winter days, time difference, and isolation underscored how far away I was from my sunny home state filled with people I loved. I tried to connect with my friends long-distance, but it was tough. Every birthday and Saturday-night outing I missed made me drift farther away from them.

To make matters worse, my job was mentally draining. I worked in a high-stress field where I was exposed to many people’s most terrible days. While I learned valuable information about my chosen career, the mental strain of the job made me fall out of love with my path.

I became increasingly stressed — about the internship, the low pay, and the loneliness — and took on another job to distract myself.

I was too embarrassed by my situation to confide in my friends, who had been right all along. I did rush into my internship too soon. I was lonelier than ever, questioning whether I wanted to stay in my chosen field.

Because of my embarrassment, I reached out to my friends back home less and less. Soon, I stopped contacting them entirely. Over time, they stopped reaching out, too.

I’ve now learned that work isn’t everything

After leaving Alaska, I found myself in a difficult cycle of overworking and then feeling frustrated when I wasn’t fulfilled. It took a long time for the lessons I learned in Alaska to stick with me: Working isn’t everything, and it’s essential to prioritize the important things in life — like a community built by loved ones.

Now, I’m in a job that I love, but it isn’t my everything. I make time every week to hang out with my new friends and do the things I love. I’ve even started reconnecting with my old friends, which has been healing.

I’ve learned that life is so much bigger than work. While I regret the friends I’ve lost because of my past choices, I’m grateful that I’ve learned what matters now instead of years later.