A woman has revealed how she refused to swap beds with her plus-sized friend on vacation – but is now being branded as ‘unreasonable.’
The woman in her 30s, from the US, too to Reddit‘s popular Am I The A**hole thread to unravel the details of the feud.
She explained how the squabble had started over room allocations which left her friend in tears.
But readers were left bitterly divided in the comments as to who was really in the wrong.
The woman in her 30s, from the US, too to Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole thread to unravel the details of the feud
The post, which was shared earlier this week, began with the unnamed holidaymaker revealing that she was going on vacation with four friends – all women in their 30s and 40s.
She explained: ‘We go every year and always use a randomized selection tool to help us choose who gets which bedroom. The tool assigns the order in which we can choose. I got third choice and my plus size friend Marie got fifth choice.
‘The first three of us all chose the queen size beds. The other two got twin beds and had to share a room. Yeah, it sucks, but that’s why we leave it up to chance so nobody can complain.’
The exasperated woman continued: ‘Marie asked me privately if we could switch places so she can have the queen-size bed. She is plus size but in my opinion not so big she can’t fit in a twin bed.
‘I personally have lost over 100lbs and at my largest was bigger than Marie is now. I never once asked to switch beds when I was bigger.
‘I therefore said no. She started crying and told me I was being unreasonable, and that I of all people should understand.
‘I do understand, but it’s my vacation too and I’ve worked hard to be in a body I’m comfortable in. I don’t feel like I should give up my spot to accommodate her, when she can still fit in the twin bed.’
The original poster later edited her post to add further context.
The Reddit post has been flooded with comments with readers left bitterly divided on the matter. On the one hand, there were many who branded her as the a**hole
She explained: ‘We agreed ahead of time that the two people who got the twin beds would pay $75 less than the rest of us. It’s just way too expensive to get a place with five rooms and five queen beds.
‘She doesn’t have any mobility issues or other disabilities that I’m aware of.
‘She never explicitly offered the $75 back to me, but I honestly can’t imagine she didn’t have that in mind when asking to switch. She’s not the monster a lot of you are assuming she is.’
Following widespread uproar in the comments, the woman continued: ‘Many people suggested it might be more about her discomfort about sharing a room, and not as much about out the bed.
‘That would make way more sense to me. When I was bigger, I used to snore and was completely embarrassed when I had to sleep in a room with someone.
‘Many also suggested I am lacking empathy. It is true, I do not feel empathy. It is a long standing issue with my mental health, and is why I often post on this account asking for help.
‘I don’t want to be a d**k, so I rely on honest people to call me out. So I do appreciate it, even though many people who said these things were downvoted.’
But, on the other hand, some readers argued that the woman was not actually the one in the wrong
The Reddit post has been flooded with comments with readers left bitterly divided on the matter.
On the one hand, there were many who branded her as the a**hole.
One person wrote: ‘Hot take. YTA. She’s embarrassed, comes to you from a place of vulnerability, and your response was, “tough luck fatty, you should work as hard as me to be in a body you’re comfortable with.”
‘People make up so much drama about their rooms on vacation – it’s about the memories you build with the people you’re on the trip with, not about the time you spend alone in your bed room.
‘This isn’t really a question about being an AH. It’s a question about values. Which do you value more – your friendship with this person, or sleeping in a queen bed for a few nights?’
A second person wrote: ‘YTA. The randomized selection of rooms is a terrible idea. You had to have known that at some point someone was bound to have issues with the bed they received.
‘How difficult is it to make sure everyone receives comfortable accommodations, even if it means paying more?
‘Also, many twin size bed frames have a weight limit of 250 pounds, which means, it’s not a matter of a plus sized person not wanting to sleep on a twin size bed, but a matter of their weight exceeding the weight limit of the bed frame.
She explained how the squabble had started over room allocations which left her friend in tears (stock image)
‘Marie may have been terrified of breaking the bed, or of undressing in front of someone else, which is why she approached you and asked to switch.
‘As someone who had once been heavier, she believed you would understand her fear. Instead, you invalidated her fear.’
Another added: ‘Yes, for no reason other than you HAD to mention your weight loss in your story, which to me means you now clearly have no empathy for someone who struggles with their weight, and you are supposed to be her friend.’
A fourth person commented: ‘YTA for having a smug, superior attitude about your weight loss. YTA for looking down on your friend. I don’t five a f**k about the beds – you should dump her so she can find some true friends.’
But, on the other hand, some argued that she was not in the wrong.
One person wrote: ‘NTA. This is the agreed upon method of determining beds. If she doesn’t like the results, then she shouldn’t have agreed to the setup. Also, there’s absolutely no cause for her to demand larger than a twin.’
Someone else commented: ‘NTA. You all have an established arrangement for picking rooms. If she had an issue with that, she should’ve said something beforehand. Expecting you to give up your room is unreasonable.’
A third person added: ‘On the assumption that the randomized selection tool is truly randomized, and on the assumption that the five of you agreed to be bound by this process, NTA.’
Another wrote: ‘NTA, she agreed to this plan. When it didn’t work out to her preference, she asked if you would switch. A reasonable thing to ask IF she will respect your response, which she’s not.’
