If retirement is the beginning of a new adventure, why are there so many jobs we have to do?

By Shaun Tumpane

Laguna Woods Globe columnist

I remember the day I retired as if it was yesterday. It was a lovely summer day in the Pacific Northwest. As I tossed the requisite cardboard box of all the working man’s essentials in the trunk of my car, I mused how I’ve put my nose to the grindstone for the very last time.

Or so I thought.

Fast forward nine years. While I haven’t gone back to work officially, meaning I am not receiving income, taxable or otherwise, I find myself working several jobs on a regular basis.

When traveling by plane, I am a skycap, an airline ticket counter agent, and a pre-TSA carry-on screener.

Don’t you just love taking the bag tags from the kiosk and attempting to line up the sticky parts in hopes that your belongings arrive at the same destination you do? Or checking in online when your boarding pass is safely tucked somewhere in your smartphone but exactly where you have no idea?

Or hauling your luggage to the counter only to be informed by the person behind said counter that you’re in the wrong line, that the baggage drop is that one over there where there are 45 other travelers lined up to place their luggage on a conveyor belt?

Don’t get me started on the cavity search one has to endure ever since the implantation of a new bionic knee that sets off every metal detector within 500 feet of it.

And how about grocery stores? When did we all become grocery store checkers and bag boys?

A trip to Costco now includes an automated scanner for your card to allow you entry, several self-checkout kiosks, and a few human checkers available for those unwilling or unable to scan their own groceries.

Then there’s all the begging we shoppers go through to get adequate boxes that are tossed into our carts for us to fill once we get to our cars.

On a recent vacation abroad, I was required to check-in virtually the day before my arrival at Hotel X, to include taking a photo of my passport and emailing it to the hotel. Then, upon arrival, I was instructed to upload some digital keys that would a) allow me entry to the hotel building, and b) open the door to my room.

When I asked what happens if a guest doesn’t have a smartphone, or the phone’s battery goes dead, I got the Alfred E. Neuman “What, me worry?” shrug.

And through all these services that we used to pay for to have other people do them, not only are we now doing them, but there’s no discount or credit for performing these tasks.

Yeah, I’m retired all right. Sure.

Shaun Tumpane is a Laguna Woods Village resident.