If You Don’t Return A Shopping Cart Are You A Total Jerk? [Block Talk]

ACROSS AMERICA — You may not be a morally ambiguous piece of human scum if you abandon the shopping cart in the parking lot. But you may get the stink eye from someone like Amanda, a Concord (New Hampshire) Patch reader who says there’s never a good reason to leave carts stranded where they were unloaded.

In Amanda’s book, such people are “lazy or self-absorbed.”

“I looked at them in their car as I took their cart and put it two spaces over in the corral,” Amanda said. “Eye contact the entire time.”

The “shopping cart theory” says, basically, that people who abandon their shopping carts in the parking lot are of questionable moral character and incapable of self-governance. We asked readers if it’s ever OK to just shopping carts stranded in the parking lot for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column.

We heard from about 480 readers on this issue. There was no clear consensus, though the “return it” camp was larger than the “leave it” camp. Many in the latter group said stores pay employees to found up stranded carts

“We are paying extremely high prices and getting very little service in return,” said Mary, a Toms River (New Jersey) Patch reader. “A ‘cart person’ is being paid $15 an hour to do their job, not for me to do their job.”

Sachem (New York) Patch reader Brian eaves his cart in the parking lot at the major chain where he shops as a matter of principle.

“I find it really disgusting that they charge the prices they do in the store, and they don’t care enough to install some cart corals in the lot,” Brian said. “So if blame it on them. It annoys me they cheap out on that. I would gladly put them where they belong if they did put some in.”

Ossining-Cr9oton-On-Hudson (New York) Patch reader Leah said grocery stores are moving more toward self-service and are eliminating employees to improve their profit margins.

“Let people have jobs,” Leah said. “In my opinion, it’s the people who refuse to bag their groceries that are low on morals.”

“Who returns the cart to the store? In all likelihood a young person working his first job,” said Andover (Massachusetts) Patch reader Nancy. “There are few opportunities for kids to hold down a job that’s steady and valuable. Think who you are hurting when you shame those who don’t return the cart.”

‘I Appreciate The Stray Cart’

Several other readers said stranded carts are convenient for other shoppers.

“I appreciate the stray shopping cart as I have mobility issues,” said Birmingham (Michigan) Patch reader Laura. “When my children were young, it was a convenience to grab a nearby cart. It’s also convenient to have a cart nearby when I have bottles and cans to return for deposit.”

Manchester (Connecticut) Patch reader Keith doesn’t buy that abandoning a shopping cart is an altruistic act.

“It’s not okay by my personal standard in an ideal society, but it seems like a cultural norm in the U.S. that is representative of the worst aspect of American hyper-individuality,” Keith said. “It’s lazy and inconsiderate at the expense of others. The chance you’re doing someone a favor by not returning the cart to the corral is not proportional to the ‘need’ for such favors.”

‘They Are Lazy And Feel Entitled’

Kathy, a Des Plaines (Illinois) Patch reader, said that if she can return the shopping carts, everyone can. She’s not interested in “excuses” to skirt responsibility, either. “They are lazy and feel entitled.”

One reason Kathy feels so strongly is that she has a paralyzed leg and uses crutches to get around. She is yet to abandon a shopping cart.

“If I can get into the store to get the shopping cart, I can get into the store again to return it,” Kathy said.

“Also, if I had a child with me, if I could carry the child into the store with me, there’s no reason I couldn’t take the child one more time with me to return the basket,” she said. “It’s courtesy and common sense. Leaving a cart for someone else and all those other excuses are just reasons not to be responsible by returning something that isn’t yours to where you got it in the first place.”

Cheri, a California mother of three who reads Temecula Patch and Murrieta Patch, said she managed to put her shopping cart away “even while eight months pregnant in the 100-degree weather.”

“If the kids are with me, I park as close to the cart return as possible,” she said.

Emmaus (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Ben agrees with all of that.

“If you are able-bodied enough to use it getting groceries, then you are able to return it,” Ben said. “Abandoned carts can and do frequently cause damage to cars, which costs the owners money to repair. It can also be dangerous if one ends up rolling into traffic.”

People who ignore shopping cart courtesies are “lazy and just don’t care about the impact on someone else or the damage they can do,” Ben said.

“Extenuating circumstances that might be used as an excuse should probably have prevented one from driving to the supermarket and going shopping in the first place, especially these days when a person in a pinch could have someone at the store do your shopping for you,” Port Washington (New York) Patch reader Robert said.

Christine, who reads Pennsylvania Patch and New Jersey Patch sites, has changed her mind on shopping cart etiquette.

“I used to think ‘no’ until I started to have back pain and was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease,” she said. “Two surgeries later, and in between and after, much pain. There are days when I think, ‘Yes, I’ve got this,’ go shopping and am forced to abandon the cart because of numbness and pain. One day, before my last surgery, the pain was so bad I had to sit on the floor at Target. Life happens!”

Suzie, who reads Florida Patch and Rhode Island Patch sites, said the bigger problem rests with store developers.

“If they did a better job setting up parking lots and cart returns, it would be easier,” she said.

Bee Swarm, Murderer Exceptions

Lori, a Parsipanny (New Jersey) Patch reader, thinks people who abandon shopping carts are “lazy and feel entitled” and “are likely low class with poor manners,” but says it’s not her responsibility to teach people better manners.

But if it were, she would tell the offenders that stranded carts can roll into other people’s cars and make parking difficult.

“If you borrow a cart, you just return it,” Lori said. “I guess if you are being chased by someone with a weapon who is threatening to murder you, it could be an exception, but this should be rare and not an everyday occurrence.”

Woodbury (Minnesota) Patch reader Junie said it’s OK to abandon a cart “when you feel your personal safety is threatened by returning it.”

“Perhaps it’s dark, you’re alone, and some creepy dude is hanging out by the corral,” Junie said. “I can’t imagine this being a regular occurrence, though.”

Huntington (New York) Patch reader John said the only acceptable reasons to leave a cart stranded are medical emergencies and imminent dangers. In other situations, it’s a sign of disrespect for the community, he said.

“I worked at Home Depot and saw carts big lumber carts hit very nice cars at maybe 30 mph,” John said. “I have seen coworkers get hit by cars backing out, I have seen people steal them, throw them toward the corral without them reaching it. … I could go on, but It would take all day.”

Patch reader Erik, who subscribes to the “shopping cart theory,” said that “unless you’re actively being stung by a swarm of bees, it is never okay to abandon your cart.”

“Everything you need to know about a person can be determined by this single act. Its lazy and self-important to not return your cart, and the fact that one needs to be governed to complete this simple act is emblematic of our endless desire to relinquish freedoms to lawmakers to fix our discomforts.”

He doesn’t push that point far “beyond passive-aggressively grabbing the cart so they can see, or audibly saying ‘oh don’t worry, I got it.’ ”

“I think we’re all tight on time, and the situational nature of someone abandoning the cart and jumping in their car combined with my very low opinion of them would not lead to a productive conversation and, admittedly. I’ve avoided it,” Erik said.

‘I Got Cursed At’

Woodbridge (New Jersey) Patch reader Cat said her issues with shopping cart scofflaws go beyond “sheer laziness.”

“People pay a lot of money for their cars,” Cat said. “I purposely park far away to avoid dings and other cars, and if I have to walk a mile to return the cart, even in wind and rain or snow, I do it. It’s the right thing to do.”

Like Amber, the Concord Patch reader, Cat calls out the offenders

“I usually will yell at the person and call them out on it because I’m from Jersey and that’s what we do,” Cat said.

Across America Patch reader Rayce isn’t shy about letting these people know she thinks they’re “self-centered, uncouth and lazy as f@#$.”

“I got cursed out and called names,” Rayce said. “I rather enjoy pointing out everyone’s shortcomings, though. Seems I often ask for it, as most people aren’t mature enough not to get defensive right on the spot, as most folk never consider the consequences of their actions.”

If that sounds harsh, know that Rayce is feeling extremely put upon.

“Too many people have the imagination to leave carts in the strangest places, but it’s too much of an effort to just wheel it back,” she said. “It appears that most people can’t read, have zero respect for others, never pay attention, all of the above? The baby carts are never returned to their designated area. Not only does it require a lot of effort to rescue all of the abandoned carts, retrieving blocked baby carts from the corral turns into a wrestling match.”

Alsip-Crestwood (Illinois) Patch reader Colleen said that when she and her husband finally found an empty spot in a crowded parking lot, several carts had been abandoned. She got out while her husband waited to park and started moving the carts.

“Since I couldn’t take all of them at once, I had some off to the side so I could come back and get the rest,” she said. “I caught someone adding to my pile of carts and I told them where the cart belonged and it wasn’t there. I pointed where they could take their cart and gave them a ton of attitude. They put it where it belonged.”

St. Pete (Florida) Patch reader Theresa is a bit more coy.

“I will occasionally tell the culprit that I will put their cart away for them since they can’t,” she said.

“Confrontation with people on a topic like that usually doesn’t go well,” said Madison (Connecticut) Patch reader Stephanie. “I try to set the example. If someone is struggling or it looks like they are going to abandon the cart, I might offer to return it for them.”

‘He Flipped The Bird’

Steve, who reads Patch sites in Maryland, Virginia, Washington, D.C. and Indiana, said that a physically disabled person, he’s usually grateful when a cart is left behind because he can use it like a walker to get into the store, where he can hopefully exchange it for a charged shopping scooter.

But he has limits. Hard ones.

“I did see someone at Target who was not parked in a handicap space leave his cart in a handicap spot, and as he drove off, saw my son put the cart in a corral 10 steps away,” Steve said. “I yelled ‘lazy jackass!’ at him and he flipped the bird as he was driving away. Par for the course for the epidemic of entitled, self-absorbed asshats on our roads now.

“More than once, I’ve talked to many who leave their carts blocking a parking spot or the roadway, especially with a corral very close,” he said. “Sometimes it works but mostly it fails. Tilting at windmills, but I have a great interest in lost causes.”

Abandoned carts are Danvers (Massachusetts) Patch Jo’s pet peeve.

“I assume most people who do that are jerks and interacting with them would be pointless,” said. “I have grabbed the carts right in front of folks who have left them and placed them in the cart corrals where they belong to make a point, and gotten either dirty looks or defiant ones.

“I happen to be one of those people who will actually grab an abandoned cart and return it to the store, even if I don’t need it when I get there,” Jo said. “But I don’t see too many other folks doing that. A lot of people seem to be inherently lazy and self-absorbed and couldn’t care less about the next guy.”

Canton-Sixes (Georgia) Patch reader Mary said she gets “irritated by my fellow human beings being self-centered,” but keeps her mouth shut.

“I’m not the morality police, and being an asshole about people not returning a cart will certainly not inspire them to change their behavior,” Mary said.

About Block Talk

Block Talk is an exclusive Patch series on neighborhood etiquette — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you’d like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “Block Talk” as the subject line.

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