Internet reveals which jobs are a ‘turn-off’ in relationships

A Reddit user sparked an online discussion about careers and romantic relationships. The post, titled “What jobs are a turn-off for a serious relationship?” has garnered 8,300 upvotes in just 24 hours.

A common theme in the 8,000 comments revolves around jobs with anti-social hours, such as bartending, flight attendants, and truck drivers.

Newsweek discussed the October 3 post shared by u/Many_Curve_7488 with registered psychotherapist Eloise Skinner.

“Any job with big hours or that’s dangerous. I had a workaholic parent, and I promised myself I’ll never have a workaholic as a partner,” said one comment.

“Pilots and flight attendants. Irregular hours and long periods away from home can make maintaining a stable relationship challenging,” said another, while a third commenter said: “Standup comedians. Weird work hours and locations. Whole months away for fringe festivals. Casual alcohol, drug use, infidelity. Worst of all: anything that happens in your relationship will be made public if they think they can make it funny/interesting.”

England-based Skinner said: “It’s probably less helpful to categorize people solely based on their career, and instead try to meet them as individual people—exploring whether your intentions align based on the actions they demonstrate, the things they prioritize as a person, and the values you share in common.”

As mentioned, the lack of quality time together due to work commitments has been noted throughout the comments section. One former worker commented: “As a retired firefighter/paramedic, I’d say firefighters. It seems like lots of women in their 20s think dating/marrying a firefighter is like some kind of fantasy dream.

“The truth is we work 24-hour shifts, and a large part of the time on our days off all we do is sleep. The schedule and the number of calls just beat your body to hell. So many folks go into the fire service looking like a Greek god or goddess, but ten, twenty years later they’re just broken and beat up with chronic knee pain, back pain, and hearing loss. This is all aside from the serious trauma they deal with, which so much of the time we can’t even talk about because few people want to hear it.

“Lots of jobs take a physical toll, [and] lots of jobs take a mental toll, but very few jobs take the physical AND mental toll that being a first responder does.”

Skinner explained that the fulfillment of a relationship depends on individual priorities and values. If someone prioritizes forming a committed partnership and values time spent with their partner, they may seek a partner with a job that aligns with these priorities. Conversely, if work is a higher priority, a fulfilling relationship might be one where both partners value and support each other’s work commitments.

Skinner emphasizes that those working a demanding job while looking for love should identify one night a week to dedicate to their partner or make small gestures during the week to indicate their presence in the connection (even if traveling).

Careers coach Skinner discourages people from thinking about relationships when job hunting. She said: “It depends again on individual motivation—if it feels like a priority to think about relationships, it might make sense to reflect that within your job hunting process (perhaps thinking about which careers would allow you space to dedicate to dating or a relationship, for example).

“On the other hand, if it’s not a clear or current priority to date or find a partner, I’d encourage people to make career decisions based on personal passions, interests, and values.”

Newsweek reached out to u/Many_Curve_7488 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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