Kristian Nairn says World of Warcraft helped him beat a serious drug habit

For Game of Thrones fans, the biggest appeal of Kristian Nairn’s memoir Beyond the Throne: Epic Journeys, Enduring Friendships, and Surprising Tales will likely be the behind-the-scenes stories. From being cast as huge, nearly mute servant Hodor up until the character’s death, Nairn was there for most of the series, and he tells a lot of entertaining, sometimes startling tales about what it was like to go from minor-league actor to worldwide fame on a demanding, secretive hit show. Those stories are mixed in with thoughts about his career as a DJ and drag performer, his coming out as a queer man, and his work on Our Flag Means Death. But for gamers, the biggest surprise in the book will likely be the point where he credits World of Warcraft with helping him kick a nearly fatal drug addiction.

In the book, Nairn discusses a period of his life where he fell for an aloof addict whose heavy drug use lured Nairn into abusing narcotics as well: “I’m snorting so much coke that when I lift my head off the pillow, usually past midday, it’s still encrusted into the cotton like cardboard,” he writes at one point. He used amphetamines and cocaine to get through all-night DJ sets, ecstasy to enhance the club experience, and codeine to ease the jitters from the other drugs, while also drinking heavily: On one night, he recalls consuming “as many as thirty” Red Bull and vodka cocktails.

Nairn saw his physical and mental health were deteriorating, along with his professional life. After a catastrophic ketamine experience, he retreated to a bungalow at the foot of Ireland’s Mourne Mountains and played WoW “from dawn till dusk” while detoxing from the drugs.

Nairn’s book gets specific about his tastes in World of Warcraft roles: why he always chooses non-human characters (“who the hell wants to plug in and look like an accountant?”) and DPS types (because he secretly wants to “hit out at the world”), and addresses what he gets out of the game, from dopamine rushes to friends around the world. Naturally, Polygon had to reach out to talk to Nairn about his relationship with gaming.

Note: Part one of our conversation with Kristian Nairn about his life, career, and Game of Thrones ran as part of our fall 2024 preview. This second half of the interview, focused on video games, has been edited for concision and clarity.

Polygon: What kind of gamer are you? Do you dig into games like World of Warcraft more for the story, for achievements, for the escapism, or something else?

Kristian Nairn: I’m a collector and a completist. So in Warcraft, for example, the mounts and the gear and the transmogrifications for your character — you can change your clothes to look like whatever you want — that’s what I really go for. I’d like to come swanning in on a really hard-to-get mount, that kind of thing.

With PvP, I get too stressed. I’m terrible. My friend Jake and I would play PvP together, and we just had to stop, or the friendship would not be here today. We’d have killed each other. I get too stressed. And that’s why I never play a healer. I have so much respect for healers and tanks, who have all the responsibility. I just get to sit there and pew-pew. But that game has involved me so much over the years. It’s incredible. That’s what I go for — trying to get everything I want in the game. I do that in real life too, I think.

What’s been a particularly memorable fight or scene or quest for you? What’s something you think no World of Warcraft player should miss?

Well, I mean, it’s literally a world, as you know. I remember I was in the Wrath of the Lich King expansion, and there was a cinematic at the Wrathgate that was really emotional for me. A lot of people were talking about it at the time — it was a big cutscene [after which] the Undercity was invaded. It’s with characters you’ve known for years, and it’s huge. It hit me so hard. I said, “My God, I love this game.” I never had that from a game before, where you’re so invested in the characters.

That’s what it’s about to me as well — the characters and the lore. Which has been messed with a wee bit recently, I have to admit. But as someone who’s worked with scripts, I know how hard it is to retcon, how hard it is to bring stories together when you’re constantly expanding. But some of those characters, they’re as well-written as Tolkien characters. That might come back to bite me, that statement, but I think they’re really well-written, and that’s what I love most about it.

Any character who particularly stands out for you as well written or meaningful in that way?

[laughs] My favorite character is very controversial. To qualify this statement — because people say she’s kind of been ruined by one of the last expansions, but I still love her — she’s done some very questionable things. Sylvanas Windrunner, she kind of turned to genocide. Some weird lore decisions were made about her, but I still love her. Patty Mattson, who plays her voice, I even had her on my answering machine as my greeting — I had Sylvanas reading my greeting, that’s how much I love Sylvanas. So that’s my favorite character. I also loved Tirion Fordring, who’s currently dead, although no one really stays dead, it seems, in Warcraft. It’s like Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movies.

There’s something really wholesome about your story in the book about using WoW to kick drug addiction.

I don’t know about “wholesome,” but if I look at the damage-results scale from addictions, a whole different scale [from drugs]. Although I know people have definitely lost friends and partners over Warcraft. I’ve definitely receded from the world with it. But I needed to do that at the time. I needed to recede a bit, and that’s how I used it. I’m in a much healthier place now — and I actually think the evolution of the game allows you to play it and stay in a healthier place now, because you can do things faster.

You’re still an actor and a DJ, you travel around the world on tours, you have a lot of projects going. How do you balance gaming and such an active, in-demand life?

I have a very small gaming laptop, which comes everywhere with me, and I always bring one of these with me. [holds up a Nostromo keyboard] I’m always getting stopped at TSA! People are like, What the hell is that? On the Nostromo gaming keyboards, I bind all my spells to these keys, so I don’t have to use the other keyboard.

I always try to bring a lot of stuff with me when I travel — I’m about to go away for nearly a month, and I’m going to make sure I have my laptop with me so I can Warcraft. I like calligraphy, so I’ll bring a couple of pads and my brush markers with me. I bring my hobbies with me as much as I can, you know, because when you’re sitting in a hotel room for nearly a month, there’s days and days on end sometimes when you’re just like, What do I do, make a pillow fortress in the Hilton? [laughs]

Yeah, that’s one of the toughest parts of being away on the road. I love my work, I love being away, I love meeting people. But sometimes I’m like, I could be home, you know? I could be with my dogs or with my mom. But obviously it doesn’t work that way. So yeah, I love my job, don’t get me wrong, but it does get lonely. And Warcraft helps with that, you know? Because not only do I play the game, but my friends are there, I can talk to them. You go on the Discord, and all of a sudden you’re home.

Do people in World of Warcraft know who you are? Do you have fans approaching you?

I’m selective — only my friends know who I am. I did, initially, on the American servers, publicize who I was. And it got a bit mad. It was just a wall of purple text, people asking me questions. Which is fine, but Warcraft is an escape for me. I’ve always tried to keep it that way. So I’m very careful in the game. But also, you know, I’m not Brad Pitt, I’m not Tom Cruise.

Has there ever been another game that’s had this kind of impact on you?

I mean, I’ve been a gamer all my life. I’ve been playing since the days of Atari computers. I had an Atari, and then we moved on to the Atari ST and the Amiga, and then on to the consoles. I’ve been right through them all. If I kept all my consoles, my house would look like a gaming museum.

One game I was really addicted to was Jet Set Radio Future. That’s a brilliant game with an amazing soundtrack — industrial, sort of Japanese, sort of like Cibo Matto and stuff like that. Really great stuff. And you’re graffitiing polygon graphics all around central Tokyo. So cool.

Pac-Man was a game-changer. Also a relationship-changer, because my mom was so addicted to that game, I had to sell my computer because I couldn’t get her out of my bedroom. I was like, “Stop playing, please. I want to play. My friends are here!” She was like, “No.” She was totally addicted. So I had to cut off my mom’s Pac-Man arm. The first Gran Turismo was also such a genre-definer, and triggered games like Forza. I love a good racing game. And I’m ignoring Mario because everyone talks about those games.

But my most common one, the one I played most before World of Warcraft — I’m going to say Street Fighter 2. I was a very firm Chun-Li fan. I don’t know what that looks like these days, around appropriation, but I was very keen to play Chun-Li back in the day. Anyone who has the gall to do an upside-down helicopter kick is the one I want in my book. But World of Warcraft has to be number one, simply because I’ve been there for 20 years.