You may have seen the pictures of Love Island host Maya Jama last week wearing a cobalt blue, sheer lace dress, cutaway in the mid-section to look like a bra top and a split-front sarong skirt.
For context, she was out on the town in Ibiza, the weather was warm, she was wearing flip flops – but Jama is also newly single. Her Ibiza look was not just Hot Love Island Style, it was a five-star Revenge Dress, at least according to her fans.
The timing certainly puts it in the Revenge Dress (RD) category. She wore it a matter of hours after she and the rapper Stormzy released a joint statement explaining they are parting ways, again. And it certainly qualifies as a head turner (the number one requirement of an RD).
Love Island’s Maya Jama wore a cobalt blue, sheer lace dress in Ibiza last week after her split from rapper Stormzy
In Maya’s case, however, matters are rather more complex. A Revenge Dress is, by definition, several degrees of wow above and beyond your normal dressed up best, and her clothes generally hit a 9 or 10 on the Look At Me scale anyway. She wears rubberised corset tops and clingy nude skirts without a second thought.
Added to that, according to the couple’s detailed statement, their split couldn’t be more amicable. So there’s no revenge per se, on this occasion. Only good vibes.
Still it’s in the ballpark of Revenge Dresses. An RD is really any dress worn with the intention, conscious or otherwise, of making someone notice you and regret having let you go, even if the break-up was your idea.
Strictly speaking, it shouldn’t be called a Revenge Dress, it should be called a Look What You’re Missing Now Dress or a See How Quickly I Moved On Dress. Or even a Don’t You Just Love Being Back in Control Dress. But revenge has a nice ring to it and, if the sight of it hurts someone a bit, well, so much the better.
We’ve all had our RD moments. Sometimes they’re thrust upon you: you discover he’s going to be at the party and have to work fast, dry your puffy eyes, get out of bed and borrow a maximum impact frock from your most va va voom friend.
Revenge Dresses are intended as a message of defiance, a signal that there is life after your ex
Sometimes an RD is one you haven’t been able to get into for years; or it’s a dress you loved and he thought was too much; or it’s an outfit (doesn’t need to be a dress) he would never have dreamt you would wear; and sometimes it’s armour plating to protect your shattered heart.
But what all RDs have in common is: they’re intended as a message of defiance, a signal that there is life after your ex, and infinite possibilities too. You might not bear him any ill will, but you still would very much like him to gaze in awe and regret that things didn’t turn out differently. Don’t you wish your next girlfriend was hot like me?
The RD, like revenge itself, is best carefully planned and not slung on in a fever of rage. The revenge dress that’s etched on all our memories was the Gucci little black dress Diana wore to a Vanity Fair party at the Serpentine Gallery party 30 years ago, the night of the Jonathan Dimbleby interview, when Charles admitted his infidelity on national television.
That dress had it all. It was black (along with red the top revenge colours – dramatic, strong, confident). It was very sexy and leggier than anything she had previously worn. And it was racy fast-lane Gucci, not smart and sober Caroline Charles – another small sign that she was embarking on a brand new life.
We all remember it because it was elegant as well as strikingly sexy. Lately we’ve got in the habit of equating revenge dressing with body revealing, flesh flashing, traffic stopping dressing – the more on show the louder the message – but this is basic entry-level revenge dressing.
Princess Diana’s famous Revenge Dress, worn to a Vanity Fair party 30 years ago
The best RD should make your ex boggle, admire, and think twice not just because you look great but because you look like your most confident, glowing and gorgeous self. The best version of you. The one that you’d been hiding, or they’d been suppressing, or your life together somehow denied. You may achieve this with second-skin bright blue lace or a leg-revealing skirt (both in Maya’s case), or you might get there with something long, black and achingly sophisticated that makes him think: ‘Who’s that? Did I underestimate her?’
That was the direction Jennifer Garner chose to go in for her first public appearance after her split from Ben Affleck: a one-shoulder, sculpted diva gown that looked like couture, worn with a smoky eye and a pout. Perfectly pitched RD, especially since her brand was fresh-faced girl-next-door. Showing what you’ve got but not necessarily revealing everything is a big part of successful, memorable revenge dressing.
After her split from Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner wore a sculpted diva gown to the 2016 Oscars
Jennifer Aniston also chose the softly slay-them approach after Brad Pitt left her for Angelina Jolie. She turned up alone to the premiere of her 2005 film Derailed in a soft gold, sequin embellished, sleeveless Chanel dress which might have been stitched on her perfect, toned body. It was her Marilyn dress moment. She positively glowed and that healthy, happy look is the all-important accessory an RD needs: no amount of glove-fit couture can cover up a month of sleepless nights.
We should spare a thought for celebrity females out for revenge. It’s not easy to pump up the wow factor given how they look on an average, all’s well day.
The fabulous, very low-cut silver satin dress Liz Hurley wore in 2000, a few months after she and Hugh Grant had parted company, was as RD as they get. But then again so was the safety-pin Versace dress she wore to the premiere of Four Weddings and a Funeral six years earlier while hand-in-hand with Grant.
The fabulous, very low-cut silver satin dress Liz Hurley wore in 2000, a few months after she and Hugh Grant had parted company
The Princess of Wales, during the brief period when she and William were ‘on a break’, wasted no time getting into a very cute Seventies roller disco outfit
Likewise, the short sequin dress Britney Spears wore to the premiere of Crossroads in 2002, just post her split from Justin Timberlake, looked a lot like a dress Britney would wear to her own film premiere: dazzling camera candy, and mischievous. Pushing the boat out and looking your post break-up best is that bit harder to achieve when you’re dressing up all the time.
It also means celebrities are less likely to make fools of themselves in the RD zone.
We civilians are more vulnerable and we can spot a hastily chosen civilian RD at 50 paces. A Revenge Dress must be sexy but it doesn’t have to cling, it doesn’t have to be low cut or leg revealing and, if you’re considering an RD, remember it should never be all of the above. Most importantly it should look like you were born to wear it, rather than you borrowed it from your punchy, one size smaller friend.
You might want to get her advice though. Like beer goggles, post break-up goggles are a real thing. In the red mist of the bitter end of a relationship, or in the rosy glow of freedom, you are likely to feel a bit unmoored and more inclined to take risks (or maybe you just don’t care). An RD should murmur sweet revenge, not roar it from the rooftops because the whole point is you should look like you’ve moved onto being the new, back-and-even-better-than-before you, not someone desperately trying to get her ex’s attention.
Good dressing tricks for the recently dumped are:
- Getting into very high heels when you were previously unable to wear them on account of your partner’s height;
- Boho relaxed festival style which you couldn’t get away with previously because he was more of a golf club, shirt-and-tie type;
- Leopard print (if he hated it; some men do)
- ‘Altering’ a dress he bought you and turning it from a regular frock into a sizzling hot dress
- Stepping right outside your comfort zone and carrying it off. If you remember, the Princess of Wales, during the brief period when she and William were ‘on a break’, wasted no time getting into a very cute Seventies roller disco outfit, and, guess what, it worked like a dream. They were back on before you could say ‘nice hotpants’
How effective is revenge dressing? It’s a great self-esteem booster. It’s fun. It’s worth it. But if you really want revenge, chop up his best shirts. Better still, date his best friend.
