Horoscope

National Park Service Issues Horoscope Featuring Its Resident Wildlife

Published

2 weeks ago

September 5, 2024

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National Park Service Issues Horoscope Featuring Its Resident Wildlife

The origins of horoscopes dates back 3000 years ago to ancient Mesopotamia where Babylonian priests first to used celestial observations to interpret good and bad omens from the gods. The system of 12 astrological signs was later adopted by Greeks who named the 12 star signs after constellations and established a link between them and specific dates based on the sun’s orbit . The term Zodiac comes the Greek “zōdiakos kyklos” which translates to “circle of animals.”

Horoscopes are based on geocentric model of the universe (where earth, not the sun is the center of the solar system) and should be taken with a grain of salt. The National Park Service recently decided to get in on the fun and issued a horoscope featuring some of the resident wildlife. The Taurus (bison) forecast was particularly entertaining:

“Your patience will be tested when you encounter a group of tourists taking selfies and getting too close. Take a deep breath and remember, they’re just trying to capture the beauty of nature. Glare for two minutes and walk away.” -NPS

ARIES

You may feel a sudden urge to explore the great outdoors this weekend. Just remember to stick to the designated paths, even if they are a bit too mainstream for your taste.

TAURUS

Your patience will be tested when you encounter a group of tourists taking selfies and getting too close. Take a deep breath and remember, they’re just trying to capture the beauty of nature. Glare for two minutes and walk away.

GEMINI

Whale, whale, whale, you are like two whales swimming gracefully through the vast ocean of possibilities. Embrace your versatility and adaptability as you navigate the weekend current and everything whale be great.

CANCER

Your sensitive nature may have you feeling a bit crabby as you navigate the parking lot. Take a deep breath, find your inner zen, and keep your claws in check.

LEO

Your natural leadership skills will shine this weekend as you navigate the trails and help your group find its way. Just try not to let it go to your head and have a purr-fect day.

VIRGO

Unleash your inner bear and tackle tasks with the same determination of a bear gorging a year’s worth of salmon in six months. Show off your graceful finesse but try to avoid any letdowns or fish to the face.

LIBRA

This weekend, you are like a perfectly balanced rock in the tranquil setting of nature. Remember to take time to center yourself, find your inner equilibrium, and let the stability guide you. Rock on.

SCORPIO

Embrace your scorpio intensity and passion as you navigate through the weekend’s escapades. Remember, even the most serious need to let loose and have a little fun now and then.

SAGITTARIUS

Your adventurous spirit will lead you to discover hidden gems in the national parks this weekend. Take aim at new opportunities and embrace new places and activities.

CAPRICORN

You goat this. Herd that! You are a mix of hard work and playfulness. Tackle your goals with gusto but don’t be afraid to take the moments to frolic and have some fun.

AQUARIUS

You’re swimming in a sea of innovation and creativity, ready to make a splash! Make time to be social. This weekend, grab your otter friends and share some laughs, good times, and maybe a snack or two.

PISCES

Just keep swimming. Your intuitive nature will help you navigate the waters around you this weekend. Trust your instincts and let your inner fish kick bass and guide you to a pool of laughter and fun.