Opinion: Think you have a rough travel story? Try 52 days stuck in space

Think you have a rough travel story? Millions of Americans do this summer. But it’s difficult to top, and I mean the word in all ways, the predicament of Barry “Butch” Wilmore and Sunita “Suni” Williams.

They’re the astronauts who rocketed into space aboard the Boeing Starliner capsule on June 5 for what was supposed to be about a week in orbit on the International Space Station. As of today, they have been circling the earth for 52 days.

Just before liftoff, NASA unloaded luggage that contained some personal items, like their changes of clothing, because the space agency needed the space for a new pump to help recycle liquid waste into drinkable water. Think about that over your morning coffee.

Sure, your space suit might look a little wrinkled in a week. But who’s going to see you — E.T.? Besides, you’ll be back home soon. Oh, wait …

Boeing’s Starliner has had helium leaks and thruster failures during its inaugural trip to the ISS. The battery aboard the craft is rated to last 90 days. Time is running out for engineers to diagnose the problem and repair the Starliner, if the astronauts are to ride it home.

To be clear, Astronauts Williams and Wilmore are not stranded. They are in residence aboard the ISS, with other astronauts and cosmonauts. If the Starliner can’t return to Earth, the astronauts may have to come back in a SpaceX Dragon capsule … another embarrassment for Boeing.

Williams and Wilmore can handle the changes in plan. Both are military and space flight veterans. Williams has been on seven spacewalks.

But it’s tempting this weekend to imagine a sitcom in space that studios might now be planning. Like, say, Nine’s Company: “Two astronauts can’t get home when their spacecraft blows a gasket, and they have to bunk aboard the ISS. But wait — who has the Hello Kitty toothbrush?”

Or the Netflix rom-com Lost and Found in Space. “Two astronauts are cooped up together on the ISS. Jordan is neat and methodical, Drew scattered and impulsive. Jordan listens to Mozart; Drew likes Nicki Minaj. Jordan reads James Joyce and Marcel Proust; Drew watches ramen recipes on TikTok. But as they circle Earth 3,000 times, their eyes meet across the module, they see each other float in the starlight. And…”