Former Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady, a seven-time Super Bowl winner, was roasted on Netflix on Sunday night in what the streaming company called “The Greatest Roast of All-Time.”
Despite ending his career in Tampa Bay, there was little reference to the Buccaneers.
Comedian Jeff Ross, known as the “roast master general,” kicked things off at the Kia Forum in Inglewood, California, by acknowledging Brady’s teammates in the audience such as Rob Gronkowski. “Forum is how Rob Gronkowski counts to 5.″ And he continued several times in the show, telling the others, “please explain that joke to Gronk.”
Kevin Hart as host said: “We wanted to roast you in Florida but because of your governor we wouldn’t be able to call you gay.”
Most of the jokes were about Brady’s time with the New England Patriots and his marriage to super model Gisele Bündchen, with teammate Julian Edelman calling him “Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriend’s ex-husband.” And comedian Andrew Schulz told him, “No matter how big you get, you end up as a twice-divorced supplement salesman in Tampa, Florida.”
Kim Kardashian took the stage to squash rumors she is dating Brady. “An ex-athlete, high cheekbones, silky hair, you remind me too much of my stepdad now,” Kardashian continued, referencing her mom Kris Jenner’s former spouse, Caitlyn Jenner.
This roast, held during the Netflix is a Joke comedy festival, was the first time in history that a roast has aired live and unedited on television or streaming, according to Netflix. Clocking in at just over three hours, the roast was filled with jokes about Brady’s divorce, his ex-wife’s new romance, his vanity, his awful business decisions and his complex relationship with former coach Bill Belichick.
Here are five of the top burns:
“Tom, I wanted you to be our first G.O.A.T. to be roasted, because you’re an example to future generations. If you work hard, eat right, film the other team’s practices, deflate the balls and have the NFL make new rules just for you, you too can be the third-most famous guy in a Dunkin Donuts commercial.” — Jeff Ross
“Tom Brady. Five-time Super Bowl MVP, most career wins, most career touchdowns. You have seven rings — well, eight, now that Gisele gave hers back. The only thing dumber than saying yes to this roast was when you said, ‘Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu.’” — Nikki Glaser
“When we played together, Tom, you used to scream, ‘Laser focus! Laser focus!’ Now that’s what he screams at his plastic surgeon. Who’s laughing now Tom? Not you, because your face can’t move and you don’t have a sense of humor.” — Julian Edelman
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“Tom is making a donation to every one of his former teammates’ charities that came here tonight. And I gotta tell you, Tom, that is first class. Hey fellas, don’t let him pay you in crypto.” — Peyton Manning
“Despite everything we’ve seen here tonight, Gronk was actually useful on the field. Although the bar for Patriots tight ends was pretty low back then: block, catch, don’t murder.” — Tom Brady
