The Top 5 Tips for Engagement Ring Shopping With Your Partner

Proposals have significantly evolved over the last decade, shifting from an experience that was planned in secrecy to a moment that is collaboratively dreamed up by two people in a relationship. It’s not hard to see why, either: Marriage is a major commitment (you’re vowing to spend the rest of your life with someone, after all!), so it’s only right for couples to work together once it’s time to pop the question—and even more so once it’s time to shop for an engagement ring. In fact, according to a survey conducted by UK retailer Steven Stone, of the 2,000 people they interviewed, 52 percent preferred to pick out their engagement ring with their partner, while only 20 percent of individuals were comfortable with their significant other surprising them with a wedding bauble.

But here’s where things can get tricky: Searching for an engagement ring with your partner doesn’t mean you can simply walk into a jewelry store and buy a ring on the spot. It involves in-depth discussions and proper planning, among other pre-engagement tasks, like budgeting, aligning on a timeline, and, for some, asking a parent for permission. You also want to ensure that you don’t lose the main blueprints of a proposal—love and romance—just because you and your soon-to-be fiancé(e) have decided to embark on the ring-shopping journey together.

Essentially, collaboratively working with your significant other to find the ultimate wedding bauble isn’t a straightforward task, which is why we spoke with an expert for guidance on how to pull it off. Here, TJ Searle, CEO of Olive Ave Jewelry, shares the top five tips to follow when shopping for an engagement ring with your partner, including advice on what to do before embarking on this marriage proposal journey.

What to Do Before Engagement Ring Shopping as a Couple

Before you and your partner begin your engagement ring search, there are several jewelry preferences and expectations you both must align on, notes Searle. The first checklist item? Aligning on a budget. “Understanding the financial boundaries ensures that the experience is enjoyable and stress-free,” he explains. Think about it: The last thing you want is to find your dream bauble, only to later realize that it’s too expensive for your partner (or both of you) to afford.

Searle then advises couples to discuss which styles, shapes, metal types, and stones the person wearing the ring would like to have. “Does the [person being proposed to] lean towards vintage, classic, or more modern designs? Decide on what stone type they want, such as a natural diamond, lab diamond, or a gemstone,” he says. Factoring in one’s lifestyle is a crucial part of this step, as well: “Take into consideration daily activities and how the ring will be worn,” the jewelry expert adds. “This will help guide the direction of design and setting choice. For those with a more active lifestyle, consider a simpler design or a lower profile setting.”

Finally, once the key features have been locked in, you and your partner should collaboratively create a mood board that visually highlights every element in one place. “Use Pinterest or another platform to comb through ideas and curate a selection of rings that stand out to you,” Searle notes. This way, you’ll both be able to narrow down your top selections, mitigating any frustrations, fears, or concerns that may arise about finding the perfect ring. “Ring shopping can be intimidating to some, but the more prepared you are, the more confident you will feel,” Searle explains.

5 Expert-Approved Tips for Engagement Ring Shopping as a Couple

Completed all the necessary prep work? Here’s what to keep in mind once it’s time to start shopping for an engagement ring as a couple.

Maintain an Element of Surprise

Though it may not seem feasible, it is possible to maintain an element of surprise while ring shopping as a duo. How? “Ask your partner to pick the general style or to narrow down their three favorite designs, and then you handle the details like center stone size and custom elements,” Searle says. “Think about adding hidden details such as engraving or interior accent stones. Even if your partner has an overall sense of what the ring will look like, these small touches can be a meaningful surprise that they won’t see until the final moment.”

Consider Going Custom

Creating a custom engagement ring might be the easiest—and most enjoyable—way to shop for an engagement ring as a couple. Hear us out: Not only does this process allow you and your partner to get everything you want in a wedding bauble, but it also allows the both of you to create a one-of-a-kind piece of jewelry no one will ever have. “There is something special about designing a ring that is made just for you,” shares Searle. “Don’t be afraid to explore the custom side of designing a ring—whether it is adding your own twist to a design you already like, or having a design made from a hand drawing you envision on your own!”

Shop Where You Trust

“Finding a reputable jeweler is critical to a seamless experience,” Searle says. “When it comes to such a big decision, make sure you are working with someone that you can trust.” Meaning, you and your partner will have to shop around and speak with several jewelers before landing on “the one.” Will this feel tedious? Maybe, but consider divvying up the conversations to help speed up the process.

Be Patient

Patience is a virtue—and it’s required for couples working together to find an engagement bauble. “Don’t rush the process. Making such a significant decision may require time and multiple visits to showrooms or websites to pick the perfect ring,” Searle says. 

Stay Focused—And Have Fun

Engagement ring shopping is inherently an enjoyable experience, but it’s easy to lose sight of why you and your partner are searching for this piece of jewelry once you’re deeply committed to the process. In other words, always stay focused on the ultimate prize—an engagement and marriage—and try to have fun along the way. As Searle puts it, “Deciding that you want to spend the rest of your life with the person you love is a beautiful thing. Your engagement ring will serve as a daily reminder of your love story and all the incredible feelings you had when committing to forever together. Enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime experience.”