Transitioning Out of the Military? You’re in Good Company

Question: I’m getting ready to separate from the Army and I’m excited and scared at the same time. I feel like I should know more or feel better about what comes next. Why don’t I?

Answer: I can imagine how frustrating it is to feel like the only one with certain fears, uncertainties and questions. I’ve taught military transition for more than 15 years and have mentored hundreds of transitioning service members. I can tell you with all confidence you are hardly alone in wondering what comes next, curious about navigating the reintegration process and excited about your future.

In fact, for more than 10 years, I’ve taught personal branding for the military to civilian transition courses in Transition Assistance Program (TAP) classes at the U.S. Air Force Academy. I can tell you one thing remains a true constant: Every participant in my audiences has shared those same concerns.

Each month, as I enter the room to teach my course, the class has completed a group exercise that hangs on the wall. The paper reads, “Excited?” and “Anxious?” at the top of the sheet, with a line down the center, separating the two lists. The class has listed off aspects of the transition out of the military, parts of the civilian job hunt or qualities of their next career that they’re both looking forward to and apprehensive about.

Each month, for 10 years now, I’ve taken a screenshot of that sheet of paper hanging on the wall. From month to month, the lists look almost identical.

Your peers are excited about things such as:

• Choosing what to wear
• Growing facial hair
• Work/life balance
• Earning more money
• No deployments
• Long-term community
• No more uniforms
• Choosing where to live
• More opportunities
• Having more career choice
• Networking
• Showing my authentic self
• Ability to quit a job
• Potential for flexible schedule
• No more PT tests
• No more PCSing every 2+ years

And they’re anxious about:

• The unknown
• Finding the right job
• Getting health-care coverage
• Paid time off
• Instability
• Family/planning
• Loss of military benefits
• Lack of control
• Lack of structure
• Working with civilians
• Being overqualified for jobs
• Different medical routine
• interviewing
• Adjusting to the non-military mindset
• Unknown financial future
• Loss of mission

And that’s just some of what’s listed. If I were to catalog all the iterations of the same ideas, the list would be pages long.

The transition you’re facing is one you haven’t made before. When you joined the military, you went from being a civilian to being a service member, and wore the title of airman, soldier, sailor, Marine or Coast Guardsman. And you likely became an adult while in uniform, meaning you’re leaving the military in a different state of mind.

Remember that you learned how to do the jobs you had in the military. You were trained, coached and supported by those around you who were also learning all the new things, too. You struggled and celebrated together, drawing support and motivation from those around you who faced similar circumstances.

Today, you’re also in good company. As you navigate the transition process — and form professional relationships from within and outside of the military — look around you. Look at the men and women also making the transition: They have the same questions, frustrations, concerns and hopes you do. Draw strength from each other. Lean on each other and share leads, information and ideas with each other. You’ll quickly see how similarly you all feel about what lies ahead.

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