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What Tim Heidecker Can’t Live Without
Photo-Illustration: The Strategist; Photos: Getty, Joe McKendry
If you’re like us, you’ve probably wondered what everyday stuff famous people add to their carts — like hair spray or an electric toothbrush. We asked musician and comedian Tim Heidecker — whose new album, Slipping Away, is out next month — about the guitar picks, podcasts, and underwear he can’t live without.
I’m a big sparkling-water drinker. I probably drink way too much of it. As a former smoker, there’s something about the feeling in the mouth. I like the Waterloo black cherry flavor. I like that it’s easily available. I tour a lot, and it’s on my rider. But I do have a complaint. When you order online, usually in the case there’s one or two cans where the bottoms sort of bubble out. I want to start a campaign so they can change their canning process to address this. They’ve mastered the art of canning pop for 50 years now, so I don’t know what’s going on.
When I’m doing stand-up or playing music or on tours with Eric, I don’t do a ton of prep or warm up. But one ritual is a hot cup of tea with honey. This is another thing that’s on the rider. It’s really tasty, and I would drink it as a beverage on its own, but I also do a lot of shouting and screaming and vocalizing, so it lubes things up. It’s an industry standard — the go-to singer’s tea as far as I know. It’s a rare product that delivers on its promise. It coats your throat.
I remember wireless headphones being a dream of mine when we first had the iPod and portable music. Wires drive me nuts. They always get tangled up and they can break and all of this stuff. It has taken a few generations for AirPods to get great, but the current AirPod Pros just fucking work every single time. They’re comfortable. I would get panicked if I couldn’t find them, but I’ve never lost them because of the find-my-devices thing. Often it’s very hard to get actual peace and quiet on the road, and they give you that. Sometimes I don’t listen to music or anything, I just put them in and it cancels the world a bit. They stay charged forever. They’re perfectly designed. I’m also a fidgety guy and I like playing with the case.
-You can’t get guitar picks from CVS or at the bodega. You have to go to Guitar Center or a music store. But if I don’t have them on me when I’m supposed to, I’m fucked. So years ago I just bought like a shitload of them online. They always end up in the wash and under the couch. They’re all over the house, like little dust mites. I like to throw them out to the audience at the end of the show — that’s a very rock-and-roll move. I saw the Who a few years ago and when we went backstage, I saw that Pete Townshend had picks that said “Pete Townshend” on them. Maybe Fender will read this and offer me custom picks. Fender, send me all kinds of things. I play a Fender Strat. I’m a Fender man. If Fender wants to send me things, I’d love that opportunity.
My go-to candy if I’m at a CVS or a convenience store. Just a fun snack. Got everything you need — a little chocolate, a little candy, a little nut. I like the peanut-butter ones, too, and the pretzel ones. They’re doing great work at M&M’s, they’re high achievers over there. I used to love Reese’s Pieces, but years ago when we were making Awesome Show, we were really addicted to Reese’s Pieces and our PA would put a big bowl on set and we eventually lost our taste for them. It became like wax in our mouths. As I get older, I don’t have to explore so many things. I know what I like, I like my routines, there are things that consistently bring me joy. When I go to the movies I get peanut M&M’s and popcorn, then put the M&M’s in the popcorn. It’s perfection.
I think it might have been Eric who turned me onto these, 20 years ago. We all struggle with undergarments and finding what works for us. I would often have chaffing issues with certain cuts of underwear, but once I found this particular cut and brand, I was all in. I love the simplicity of the fit. I have 15 pairs of them in a drawer and when I go traveling, I grab them all and throw them in my suitcase. I’m trying to get there with socks. My socks situation is a mess, but the underwear is stable. Something I’m beginning to think about when I tour and when I travel is riding my underwear for two days in a row. I’ve been noticing that these are still fine after a day. These are totally presentable. So I might start packing less. It’s not like underwear takes up much room, but still.
I remember seeing an ad for this brand on Instagram four to five years ago that was awful and obnoxious and not my style of ad. But then I was in St. Louis last summer and forgot my shorts. It was very hot so I went to some department store and these were on the rack. When I put them on, they just fit great. I’m wearing them now. They’ve got elastic on the waist so as I expand and contract in my mid section, it feels forgiving. I misjudged the brand. The first impression was wrong. I hate the name, but I love the shorts. A lot of thigh, but that’s okay. I’ve got good thighs.
I’m a baseball fanatic. I’m a Dodgers fan. I grew up a Phillies fan, so I follow them as well. In a regular season of baseball, there’s a game every night and the teams play 162 games per season. Which is incredible. What people don’t appreciate about baseball is that it’s almost like the Tour de France. The endurance of it is kind of half the sport. And there’s always a game on in the summer, which is nice. I listen to the app every day during baseball season. If I’m traveling on the East Coast and I’m on the West Coast, I’ll put it on to go to bed. I’ve got lots of problems with the app, it’s not perfect, but it’s all we have. The audio level between the broadcast and the commercials is dramatically different. So they’ll go to a break and Kars4Kids will be blasting at me.
When I meet fellow YouTube Premium people, we are so proud that we’re in this club. This is the one streaming service we’d never give up. YouTube just has everything. So much crap, so much stuff that you can lose yourself in. I’m a history buff, and the other day I watched the JFK assassination as it happened on real time on CBS news. It was a four-hour broadcast. I watched the Rolling Stones’ Steel Wheels press conference. It’s an incredible library of lost culture. And I love The Majority Report, Sam Seder’s political morning show. That’s something I just put on in the background. If I don’t have a movie or a TV show to watch, I open up my algorithm and I’ve got some Howard Stern clips, some amp reviews and pedal reviews, and I’ve got Seinfeld clips. That’s a good way to spend a couple minutes.
Everybody can get this stuff, but the reason you pay is that the ads are constant. You’re paying for zero ads. It’s shocking when someone plays me something on YouTube and they don’t have Premium. Why am I watching an ad for man-sculpting pills or whatever?
Jokermen started as a Bob Dylan podcast and now they’re doing other artists. They’re just really smart and funny and it’s like getting to hang out with a couple of cool, funny guys who have good taste. It turned me on to a whole bunch of good music that was in the sphere of things I already liked. A History of Rock Music in 500 Songs is a very different vibe. He tells these stories about music and culture through a song every episode. They’re always great, really well done, really well researched. It gives context about stuff I already loved. It’s fantastic how much independently created entertainment these days that you can directly support instead of relying on the execs at Max or whatever. To self promote a little bit, I have been using Patreon for Office Hours for three years now, and I’m such a believer in subscriber-based independent media.
The Strategist is designed to surface useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Every product is independently selected by our team of editors, whom you can read about here. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.
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