Your Queer Weekly Horoscope: August 12-18

Welcome to your Queer Weekly Horoscope, a bite-sized look at the coming days broken down by your zodiac sign.

Woof, here we go. Or there Mercury goes, rather! Get ready to feel things, everyone. Dig in your fingernails and hold on tight! It’s going to be a bumpy ride all the way to Virgo Season.

The First Quarter Moon in Scorpio squares off against the Sun and kicks off a rising tide of emotions, amping up the intensity all week. Mars and Jupiter team up for a surge of expansive energy, and then retrograde Mercury smashes backwards from Virgo to Leo, encouraging everyone to start yelling about their frustrations. The Sun attempts to initiate healing in partnership with Chiron, which may or may not be effective depending on your sign’s surrounding activity. That well-intentioned attempt could actually lead to injury instead of recovery.

Running backwards, Mercury throws a punch at Uranus, which will definitely result in a surprising form of retaliation, and then the Sun steps forward to encourage Mercury’s bullshit, resulting in a zodiac-wide plague of delusional behavior. At the dawn of next week, Venus starts up romantic trouble with lucky Jupiter and responsible Saturn, and the Full Moon in Aquarius causes overwhelming emotional outbursts.

For this weekly horoscope, Leo leads the parade of pain, then we’ll progress through each sign until everyone’s doom has been decreed. If you know more of your placements than your Sun Sign alone (Moon, Rising, Mars, etc.), check their entries as well to get a full picture of your astrological forecast.

What the stars are up to:

• Your ruler the Sun is in your sign.
• Moving perspectively retrograde, Mercury slides back from Virgo into your sign.
• The Sun creates a trine with Chiron and passes through conjunction with retrograde Mercury.
• Mercury squares off against Uranus.

What it means:

Brace yourself for an epic, planetary-level backslide. Orbiting perspectively retrograde, Mercury ditches its own sign, Virgo, and slams screaming back into your space. Mercury’s retrograde direction continues to sow miscommunication, and when the smallest planet moves into your sign, misunderstandings rage up from repressed mutterings through clenched teeth to become loud, belligerent shouting. Then, your sign ruler the Sun creates an alliance with Chiron the centaur. Chiron rules healing and injury, and it is also retrograde at the moment, increasing the likelihood of painful accidents. Retrograde Mercury picks a fight with Uranus, ruler of weirdness, provoking an eruption of unexpected unpleasantness in your life, and then the Sun partners up with Mercury in a temporary flare of stubborn self-delusion.